What Can 9-9-09 Inspire You To Do?

Image by luc legay via Flickr

Well folks it's 9-9-09! How cool is that?

Hmmm what can we do with that? Surely there is something. Let me think, let me think!

AhHa! I've got it!

Make a list of 18 really cool people. Maybe they are friends, business acquaintances or cool and interesting people you've met online through a BLOG (hmm say like this one?) or through a social networking site such as Facebook or Twitter.

Come on you can think of 18 cool and interesting people can't you? Heck my problem is just limiting it only to 18.

So that's step one. Now for step two.

Write all of these people's names on a list. Break that list in half. This is where a little brain power is required. Look at each person individually and determine at least one interesting factoid or creative talent or skill that you know they possess and that will be your Connection Point (you know how I love those!). Now look at the other people on your list and start matching who needs to know who and well....you get the picture.

The final and most critical step is step three. Take Action TODAY!

Introduce, connect or somehow engage each of the 9 people on the first side of your list with the at least one person from the other side of the list. Use the Connection Point as your baseline for why you are connecting them and give a little heartfelt push and encouragement and sit back and let the connecting and Rippling happen from there.

Do you know that if you connected 9 people with 9 other people that your would easily improve your standing with each of those people 10 fold ---- oh wait I had a theme going here! Let's call it 9 fold instead! (Smile)

Heck what if you connected all 18 people with one another! You will have created 81 total connections from this little exercise. And you thought you weren't that powerful! You carry a big rock and have the power to create many big Ripples my friend! Wait a second...my did I sound like Tonto from the Lone Ranger there?

Anyway....you can either sit on your hands today and watch 9-9-09 go by like every other day or you can step up to the plate and use this magical number day to do something with it. It will only come along once in your lifetime so why not give it a go?

Come on people! Let's Ripple!!!

Ripple On!!!

Ripple Connection Question Of The Week

Ripple Connection Questions are a unique way to engage people in conversation. Whether with a complete stranger or someone you already know, but want to know better, using Ripple Connection Questions (RCQ) accelerate the dialogue and deepen the connection. The questions are by design, fun to ask and fun to answer, and can take your connection to an entirely new level. Come on, break out of that shell of yours and start Rippling.

As I watch the events of this weekend unfold, I can't help but think of the people who are and will be inevitably be affected by Hurricane Ike. Ever since Hurricane Katrina the power and force with which Mother Nature can impose her incredible strength and determined destruction is certainly humbling and scary when you think about it.

I can't imagine what it would be like to be forced to leave my home. As I look around today I see all that I have worked for and all that I treasure. Sure you can make the argument that it's just stuff but it's my stuff and I wouldn't want to lose it under any circumstances.

But what if you were forced to leave your home and you could only take what you could pack into your car or suitcase? That question has been on my mind for obvious reasons so I figured why not use it as this week's Ripple Connection Question:

WHAT WOULD YOU TAKE WITH YOU
IF YOU WERE FORCED TO EVACUATE
YOUR HOME?

I look forward to hearing how you might answer this question. I know for me, as long as I have my family, my computer, my "idea journal" and my ability to live another day, the stuff that I own can always be replaced.

If you have been affect by this weekend's storm, know that you are in my family's thoughts and prayers.

Ripple On!!!

Ripple Connection Question Of The Week

Ripple Connection Questions are a unique way to engage people in conversation. Whether with a complete stranger or someone you already know, but want to know better, using Ripple Connection Questions (RCQ) accelerate the dialogue and deepen the connection. The questions are by design, fun to ask and fun to answer, and can take your connection to an entirely new level. Come on, break out of that shell of yours and start Rippling.

So with no further adieu....this week's Ripple Connection Question is:

WHAT WOULD YOU MOST LIKE TO BE A STAR IN?

I get the greatest reaction when I use this question as a means to connect. You literally get to watch people mentally teleport themselves to the secret fantasy of being whatever it is they really want to be. For some it might mean being a highly sought after nationally known speaker. For some its a rock star. For others its shooting that winning basket or hitting that game winning homer. Still for others its something more personal as was the case with a woman I met recently at a conference. She just wanted to be a star in the eyes of her kids; to be thought of as cool and fun to hang around despite their teenage bravado. She actually teared up when she shared her answer with me.

Whatever it is...its a great connection question and one that is certain to open another person up in ways you could never imagine.

Give it a try. You will be glad you did!

Ripple On!!!

Friday Fun - Good Reads

So for those of you who receive my periodic Ripple On News & Notes newsletter know that I am a veracious reader. If you aren't receiving Ripple On News & Notes when it comes out, please go to my website and sign up under the Subscribe heading....it's completely free.

Anyway, I usually highlight what I am reading, watching and listening to. It is my belief that sharing what one reads (or watches and listens to) opens up a world of connection points for others to explore further conversation and dialogue with you. I have had some amazing conversations with many of you about books I was reading or about books I should be reading.

My good friend CJ Romberger, knowing I am a big book fan invited me to participate in a website called Good Reads. Their site is at www.goodreads.com and its a unique way for you to share what you are reading and reviews on the books you have read It is also a fabulous way to for you to meet people from all over the world and gain exposure to a whole litany of great work that you likely would never know if it wasn't for some the very passionate and informative readers you will encounter along the way.

Hope you will check out their site and sign up. Shoot me an invitation to be a friend on there if you do! Though I will admit, I truly need to work on building a better list of books I have read and plan to read but look forward to playing with this unique service over the coming months and reading a lot more!

Ripple On!!!

Steve

Ripple Connection Question Of The Week

Ripple Connection Questions are a unique way to engage people in conversation. Whether with a complete stranger or someone you already know, but want to know better, using Ripple Connection Questions (RCQ) accelerate the dialogue and deepen the connection. The questions are by design, fun to ask and fun to answer, and can take your connection to an entirely new level. Come on, break out of that shell of yours and start Rippling.

So with no further adieu....this week's Ripple Connection Question is:

WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO
BE DOING IF YOU WEREN'T
DOING WHAT YOU ARE
DOING RIGHT NOW?

I love using this question at networking events and pulling it out before someone can ask me "So Steve what do you do?" The uniqueness of the order of words is always perfect for creating a temporary brain scramble on someone who is used to the same old boring way of networking. This question gives people a reason to pause and to really contemplate what you have just asked them and the answers you will get will simply amaze you.

For example here are some I recently received which gave me great insight and massive opportunities to stir some new connections in an entirely different (and much more fun) direction at a recent networking event (I had to attend).

Ted - Insurance Agent - Would rather be a gourmet cook with a little bistro in the South of France

Marianne - Army Recruiter - Would rather be a professional skydiving instructor and work only with kids from broken homes to teach them what is possible when they push themselves

Mark - Salesman - Would like to be a whitewater raft guide. He only feels at true peace when he is the mountains.

Suzanne - Stay-At-Home-Mom - Would rather travel the country (with kids in tow of course!) promoting a children's book that teaches valuable lessons.

No matter who the question is asked of you will undoubtedly find that everyone can come up with something that person would rather be doing. And the details of what that something is can open up a world of possibilities and connection for you both. Give it a try this week and see what kinds of Ripples this powerful little question can create for your connections!


Ripple On!!!

You Can Have An Effect - Sometimes You Just Need A Reminder

So yesterday I had to take my Ford Explorer back into the dealership for service. I have had a leak that despite multiple attempts to fix it hasn't been fixed. Yesterday I had had enough after seeing the rather large pool of fluid sitting on my garage floor yesterday morning. I had a very full morning and a lunch meeting but decided that I was going to go out to the dealership and raise some hell.

I was mad driving out there. It's bad enough that the dealership is somewhat of a drive for me but I have been out there so much over the past year that the service advisers no longer need to ask me for my name so they can fill out their service ticket. They are a very nice group but the simple fact was I was angry at having to see them again and it was putting me "in a mood."

My regular service adviser was not in when I arrived but the gentleman that helped me was very nice. He immediately sensed my frustration and offered to delay my day no further and offered me a rental car. My blood pressure calmed a bit and I appreciated his proactive approach to at least helping make my bad situation better in some small way. He pointed me to the waiting area and asked me to "make myself comfortable" until the rental car agent could come by and bring me my car. I remember thinking 'great, waiting around with nothing to do.'

I arrived in the waiting room to find a older man sitting in the chairs watching Dr. Phil. He wore a black baseball cap that indicated he had fought in both World War Two and Korea. He had brought old "Bessie," his Ford 250 horse hauling truck in to have the mirror replaced. Apparently his son and law couldn't handle such a powerful beast as Bessie and he sideswiped a mailbox with the mirror, breaking it.

He and I exchanged a few pleasantries and some ongoing commentary about the crazy beauty pageant ladies who were being counseled by Dr. Phil. He was a delightful man full of spark and personality and seemed to enjoy the company. He moved a few chairs closer to "visit" and I suspect to hear a little bit better.

He told me about living on a small little spec of land out yonder and how his truck had seen many a mile of this great state. Not a lick of problems with that "old Ford"; I wish I could be so lucky. We could have made polite chit chat for the rest of the time but I decided to ask about his hat.

His eyes lit up when I asked about his hat and his apparent service in our military. He sat up straighter, spoke stronger and almost seemed to take on a completely different personality altogether. He told me he had joined the Navy in 1944 because it was his only option out of the cotton fields. He spun stories of all his adventures both state side and beyond and spoke of some of the action his crew had seen but oddly didn't seem to want to talk about much of that.

He left the service in 1948 in hopes of making a better life for himself. He went to refrigeration school in Dallas and did well but soon found his job prospects somewhat limited. He rejoined the military but this time in the Army. He met his wife and was shipped off overseas to "fight the fight."

He simply transformed as he talked to me. Apparently he said he suffered from post traumatic syndrome and the "boys in his unit" thought him crazy. He claimed he wasn't crazy but just scared. The night terrors as he described them were almost unbearable and he was eventually given his walking papers and sent on back home to Texas. The sparkle seemed to trickle out of his eyes at that point; replaced by some barely noticeable tears.

"Here I've been ever since," he said almost apologetically.

I could have stayed and talked with him for hours. He was fascinating. To me it seemed like he hadn't had much of a chance to talk to anyone about what we shared in those few precious moments. It seemed really, really good for him and I was so glad that I had asked about his hat. Thinking back it could have been so easy to ignore what is obviously a powerful connection point to him and his life. What a shame that would have been!

As the rental car lady tapped me on the shoulder, I stood up and thanked him. I thanked him for his service to our country and for doing his duty and told him I was truly glad to know him. Big tears welled up in his eyes and he mumbled something barely audible. I asked him to repeat it but he looked down as if embarrassed by whatever he had said. He held my hand with a firm grip and said, "Nice talking with you fella."

It was nice talking with you too!

Think you can't make an impact on someone's day? I am glad my Ford (Fix Or Repair Daily - no joke!) had a problem and that I was led to that waiting area yesterday afternoon. Even the Ripple guy needs a wake up call and reminder every now and then.

Have a great weekend my friends.

Ripple On!!!

Ripple Connection Question Of The Week

Ripple Connection Questions are a unique way to engage people in conversation. Whether with a complete stranger or someone you already know, but want to know better, using Ripple Connection Questions (RCQ) accelerate the dialogue and deepen the connection. The questions are by design, fun to ask and fun to answer, and can take your connection to an entirely new level. Come on, break out of that shell of yours and start Rippling.

So with no further adieu....this week's Ripple Connection Question is:

WHAT IS ONE OF YOUR MOST
FAVORITE CHILDHOOD MEMORIES?

This time of year as the Super Bowl approaches, it would be easy to say football for me. I fancied myself a backyard (or actually front yard) football hero. I had this old Nerf football that I would use and I would, for hours, self-hike the ball to myself and toss it on my parents house and wait for it to come down for a completion. Passes that were thrown on the first story were good for a single completion; I needed two for a first down. Passes that were thrown on the second story would come down much faster and much more unpredictable which made them so much more fun to catch. They of course were good for an automatic first down so I went for them a lot! Hey no guts, no glory right?

I would sit out there for hours and pretend I was leading my beloved Dallas Cowboys down the field for that Super Bowl win. I especially loved this time of year as a snow game added to the flare and excitement of a Steve Harper, Dallas' overlooked and yet undiscovered future franchise quarterback, led win.

I didn't win all of them as to make it fair, I had to play both teams; Dallas and whoever they might be up against that week. And in the battle field of the Harper front yard stadium, there were many tough opponents and very few easy wins. But the wins that I did have will be forever etched in my mind and the memories will forever make me smile.

So what about you? What's your answer to this week's Ripple Connection Question? Use this question with the people who cross you path in life and I guarantee you will open up a plethora of great material from which a deeper more meaningful relationship can be built.

Ripple On!!!

Ripple Connection Question Of The Week

Ripple Connection Questions are a unique way to engage people in conversation. Whether with a complete stranger or someone you already know, but want to know better, using Ripple Connection Questions (RCQ) accelerate the dialogue and deepen the connection. The questions are by design, fun to ask and fun to answer, and can take your connection to an entirely new level. Come on, break out of that shell of yours and start Rippling.

How about we collectively make 2008 the year of connection? What do you say?

Seriously, why not use this brand spanking new year as our launch pad to make deeper more meaningful connections with the people who cross our path or already in our life somehow? The connections we make, and make better, will absolutely springboard you into something amazing for 2008 I promise. Why not use the Ripple Connection Questions to help you get started?

So with that in mind, this week's Ripple Connection Question Of The Week is:

WHAT EXCITES YOU MOST ABOUT
THE UPCOMING YEAR?

For me this is an easy one to answer....

It's all the possibilities that 2008 holds for me. I want to do more trainings, more workshops, give more talks and speeches, write my second (and maybe a third) book. But most of all...the one thing that excites me most about 2008 is all the new and incredibly helpful people I plan to bring into my life through the power of connection. Yes, its the stories I will hear, the faces I will see, the experiences I will have by not fearing to take a chance and connect with someone new. After all, I do believe that someone or something will have brought them into my path for a reason. It's the discovery part of why that makes it most exciting for me.

So what about you? What is your answer?

Use The Holidays To Discover

So the holidays are here and for many of us that means spending hours, sometimes days, with family; many of which we don't get to see all that often. Whether it be with the grandparents, parents, cousins, in-laws, extended family, our own children, spouses and/or significant others an opportunity to do something very special is available to us all. It's an opportunity to learn about these people we call family. I don't mean just catching up on how people are doing physically or how the new job is going....I mean really learning about the people themselves.

When you take a broader look at our time on Earth, we realize that time is not infinite. For many of us the next year may or may not be our last. The time we all have here is so precious and yet so many of us spend our time focused on the things that aren't all that important. In fact, we fail to connect with those in our family on a level that reveals much about them at all. Sad when you think about that sister of yours that you know less about than the woman who sits in the cubicle next to yours isn't it?

Use the holidays to ask the insightful questions. Ask grandpa when he was your age what he dreamed he would be when he finally grew up. Ask your cousin what they are truly passionate about and what makes them tick. Ask the elders of your family how your family came to be and what they think of the family as it is today. Spend the time asking your mom and dad questions that let them be Jim and Janet (my parent's names) rather than mom and dad.

Is this hard? I won't lie to you....it can be. Especially if your a family that doesn't truly know one another. But families should know one another don't you think? So when you decided to really get to know the people who you seldom see but really should know better, blame it on your old buddy Steve. Tell him this crazy Ripple author guy suggested this as a way to pass the time over the holidays. Blame me if it eases the reason for doing it, but no matter what, do it.

As most of you know, my mom has Alzheimer's disease. There are so many of those Christmas afternoons I wish I had back. I wish I could spend that time not looking at the cool loot I had just been given but really talking, really communicating with her. I know she had to have had hopes, dreams, fears, opinions, things that excited her but my friends, I never asked about them. I now sit here writing this post and realize that her disease has robbed her of her mind and me of the opportunity to have known what once was floating around in there. I really never knew my mom and that makes me sad.

Don't make the same mistake. Everyone has a story and like I preach incessantly throughout my BLOG, my book and my speeches and training, you just have to have the courage to ask.

Use the holidays to do some asking won't you.

Ripple On My Friends!!!


Steve

Connection Point Opens Window To Hero

So Zachary is having the absolute time of his life at Brian Urlacher's football camp. He has gotten to converse several times with Brian though at age eight, saying "Hi" constitutes big conversation. He got to nudge up against the big guy and have his picture taken which is hard to say who was more thrilled kid or dad. He also has met a number of football notables including Dallas Cowboy DeMarcus Ware and a coach from all the way back in Austin who seems to have taken a real shine to Zachary. Funny how small this world is traveling all the way from Austin to Albuquerque to meet someone from Austin.

But the biggest news of football camp was Zachary meeting Colt McCoy the starting superstar quarterback of our beloved University of Texas Longhorns. Colt was a special guest of today's session and although throughout the day he came close to Zachary the opportunity never really arose for him to have his in-depth conversations like he has with Brian (again a conversation of "hi" and "hi" back).

As we were leaving camp I spotted Colt bolting for the parking lot. I quickly grabbed Zach as he walked off the field and away we went. There was a Longhorn that needed to be lassoed. We busted through the gate but no Colt. Zach's little face bright with anticipation quickly grayed and I thought our opportunity had been lost. Then I spotted a man that I thought looked a whole lot like Colt's dad.

I grabbed Zach by the shirt and headed that way. I figured if we couldn't meet Colt we could at least meet the man that made Colt. I walked up to the man as he was about to get into an SUV and asked him if he was Colt's dad to which he replied he was. I explained we were both from Austin and that Zach (and I will admit it....I said I was as well) a big fan of his son's. I told him we were from Austin (THERE'S THAT CONNECTION POINT MY FELLOW RIPPLERS) and that was all it took! Instantly this man warmed to us both and shook both of our hands. I told him that Zach had hoped to meet Colt today but that it never worked out. He said "well hold on a minute....let me get him to roll the window down and say hello."

To say that Zach wasn't completely blown away at that moment would be an understatement. That handshake from Colt McCoy likely was worth ten times what we paid for this camp and is destined to be worth a boat load of street cred with his little buddies back home and most certainly a lifelong memory for us both.

Thanks Mr. McCoy for taking the time to talk to some good old boys from Austin....and for asking Colt to give a kid the thrill of his life. This will be a Ripple that will last for a long, long time I can assure you!!!

Hook 'Em!

Ripple On!!!

Steve Harper

Summer Reading & Listening Challenge

Did you know the books we read and the music we listen to are one of the ultimate connection points? Think about it, what we are reading and what we are listening to really tells quite an interesting story about ourselves. It offers those people who want to get to know us better endless opportunities to bridge deeper more meaningful conversation. Of course it works in reverse too! I just wasn't going to harp (no Harper pun intended) on how you can leverage that to help you build your connections. I don't need to remind you about that now do it! Hee Hee!!!

Anyway....let's have some fun with this and get this summer party started correctly. I want to know what's on your summer table of reading and just what kind of jamming tunes we might find you downloading to your IPOD as the temperature rises. Leave a comment as to what we might find you reading on the boat at the lake, at the beach this summer or in that special place you go to when you just need to settle down with a good book. And of course...tell us what kind of great music we might find you listening to as well!

Leave a comment here and if you want to really elaborate and get some good conversation going join our Yahoo Group by clicking here. Talk about helping people get to know you and know you quicker! Connection points baby!!!

Can't wait to be inspired by my readers and perhaps you might forward this challenge on to some of your friends and colleagues and we can learn what has them toes a tapping and their minds engaged! I suspect that all of you will give me plenty of amazing choices of literary works and musical melodies to fill my summer of love!

Speaking of Summer...just had to play one of my all-time favorites! Hope this gets you in the mood to start enjoying your Summer!!!



Ripple On!!!

S

Loquacious Introvert

Most of you know that I enjoy the reputation as the Starbucks Stalker as I am not afraid to strike up a conversation with just about anyone. I truly love the variety that Starbucks offers as I can think of no other company that provides us all with such a rich selection of opportunities to reach out and connect. Think about it. Your local Starbucks attracts people from all walks of life with an unbelievable array of backgrounds, education and professional experience and the conversation and connection possibilities are truly endless.

Secretly I like to think that Starbucks creates all of these "hot spots of connection" just for me to get my people fix. I know that is likely not the case but let a fella fantasize won't you?

Most of you that are regular readers of my BLOG likely recall that my dad lives in Albuquerque. He has truly become my best little walking press agent for my book, my Ripple training and ultimately my desire to reach outside the box and connect. So much so that he now goes to Starbucks and the other "local" coffee shops I think more than I do in a week and often finds an ear to bend about this thing I call Rippling. He's a proud papa indeed! I know these little jaunts up to coffee house gives him a great break from taking care of my mom and allows him to be an observer and often, in his own and very inspiring way, a conversation stalker

Well it seems dad and I may have some conversation competition at the old Starbucks! As my dad told me the story, he was sitting in a Starbucks a few weeks ago when he noticed an elderly man spring through the front door of Starbucks. He sashayed up to the old counter and plunked down the exact change for his black coffee and then proceeded to scan the shop. My dad noticed he purposefully scanned each and every patron with a keen eye and then with coffee in hand and a smile on his face he proceeded to engage each and every one of them.

He commented here and there about how busy everyone was. He interrupted two students embroiled in a study debate and asked about their day. With answer in hand he greeted a young lady listening to an IPOD and refused to let her recoil into independence alley until she removed her head phones to acknowledge him. He asked what people were working so diligently on laptops and asked about the books that people were reading, he was making it his mission to engage the world; to change the world with a smile and genuine interest in everyone. To hear my dad tell it, he was accomplishing his mission as he left each person somehow forever altered and better than they had been just minutes before.

Then he came to my dad who had watched with much amusement and observation. "Even you my fine sir, you have your nose stuck in a book. What are we reading" he asked. What are we reading? I love that! Talk about a great way to start a conversation!!!

My dad is 72 mind you and looks great for his age but could never be mistaken for a spring chicken. But as this man pulled up a chair the mildly humorous comment of "all you kids are so busy with your books and laptops" that came from this incredibly engaging man was both funny and insightful. You see this man, it turns out, is 92.

He like my father has a wife at home with Alzheimer's. His days are filled with going to Starbucks, the grocery store any other place he could possibly engage one in conversation. I am certain, like my dad, he uses the experiences he has with the people he meets to share with his beloved when he returns home. A recap of conversation bounty that they can both share even if it is just him telling the tale to her. You can almost see that scene can't you?

As he sat there and visited with my dad, they found many "connection points." He challenged my dad by informing him he had participated in four wars and asked if he could guess which ones they had been (three were actual well know wars and one was never officially constituted as a war but don't tell this man that!). They talked about the Alzheimer's and their deep love to care for their two wives. Two men from two different generations and in fact two complete strangers...connecting, sharing and and reminding us all that that is what life is all about.

He talked with the speed and vigor of a man more my age. Their brief interaction covered a myriad of topics and just as soon as it had begun it was over. With the flip of his card on the table he said he would look for my dad again but he had errands to attend to and people to see. He sprang to his feet, turned and was gone.

There on the table at Starbucks my dad picked up his card realizing that he had given this man his name and asked for his but somehow in the gust of conversation the man had never obliged. He closely examined the card and realized he had just met.....

Sir. Duke Wellington
Loquacious Introvert

At 92 and 72, if these guys can reach outside to connect, don't you think you and I can too?

Ripple On and go stalk up a conversation at Starbucks today! If you see the Duke say hello from the Ripple Guy!

Steve

Ripple Connection Question of the Week

My readership has just exploded over the last few weeks so I wanted to take this opportunity to quickly explain to those of you who are new to my BLOG what the Ripple Connection question is and how to use it.

I believe that every day we have people who come into our life for a defined purpose. I also believe that we as a society have lost our ability to reach out and connect. We are too myopic and often oblivious to the opportunities which are right in front of us. I also believe that those of us that want to connect with others are often afraid or unsure of exactly how to bridge a connection with someone. Whether that connection is with people we already know, but want to know better, or simply complete strangers who cross our path in life we may be lacking the tool or resource to start a conversation.

That is why I created the Ripple Connection Questions. These questions are an ideal way to get to know somebody and to hopefully find a common connection point which creates jump off points for future dialogue and increased connection. These questions aren't the maby pamby (one of my favorite sayings) b.s. kind that most people are accustomed to hearing. No! They are by design fun to ask, fun to answer and guaranteed to make the interaction memorable for you both.

So give it a try! What do you have to lose? Not a darn thing! Whether you want to get to know a co-worker better, develop more rapport with your boss or simply engage the complete stranger at Starbucks, the Ripple Connection Questions will get people talking. Most importantly....they will get you noticed and appreciated for being different from the rest of the herd.

Try it....You'll enjoy the experience, the answers and the connections. I promise!

So to this week's Ripple Connection Question:

What is the one question you would most like people to ask you when they first meet you?

Thanks to my friend Matt Homann with realBIGthinking.com for reminding me of this fun and engaging connection question!

Ripple On!!!


Steve Harper

P.S. We still have a few books left from our Dang Those Shippers Sale so if you want to pick up a copy of my book The Ripple Effect cheap and don't mind a little damage to the cover (some of the damage is so slight you won't even notice it) then Ripple on over to my store and pick up a book full of Ripples for a real song! Click here!

Why Won't They Just Connect?

I posted on our 8 Minute Ripple Community BLOG yesterday some suggestions for our fellow Ripplers to come down (obviously if they are already in Austin) and check out the SXSW scene. It is an ideal opportunity to make some new connections, meet some great people and just hang with a very diverse and unique crowd. A perfect environment to just practice Rippling!

Feel free to check out the BLOG post from our 8 Minute Ripple BLOG by clicking here.

So officially day two of my official SXSW experience ended with my meeting some amazing new people and learning a lot thanks in part to my willingness to Ripple. As I sat in one of the ballrooms yesterday morning waiting for a session to start I had an ample opportunity to watch and observe all the people and the mojo of the room. I continue to be amazed by just how disconnected people tend to be. People opened their laptops and were busily instant messaging or sending email or on the cell phone or tapped into their Ipods. They were doing anything and everything to be a party of one in a sea of hundreds.

I wanted to jump up on stage and yell from the top of my lungs, "Look around you! There are amazing people right next to you and no one is talking! Hang up your phones, shut off your laptops and just start talking!" Those few people I did see make an attempt were not talking about anything remotely engaging!

Never in my life did I want to teach the masses the power of Rippling! Those few unique connections that I observed were the typical "So what do you do?" blah, blah, blah followed by the mind-numbing polite chit chat that inevitably leads to the gloss over eyes and walking coma.

Can you say painful?

I made it my point to step outside my box and do a fair amount of connecting. I met some great people whom I never would have met if I hadn't opened my mouth. I met some cool people who live right here in Austin, some people who traveled from overseas to just come to SXSW and about a five or six people from both coasts. I made it a point to really connect and not let anyone take the path of least resistance, or sucker's choice, by defaulting to talk simply about business. And you know what? By starting a conversation by just asking "So what's the coolest thing you have seen so far at SXSW?" the connections and the Ripples began to really stack up!

I cherish this gift of attending this event. Despite having the opportunity to speak at SXSW and to do a book signing or two, I am just thrilled with the opportunity to surround myself with some interesting people from all over the world and to make some new friends.

Why anyone would squander the opportunity to connect in such a wonderful environment is beyond me. No matter what, I am going to make the most of these next few days and hope to find a whole new audience for the power of the Ripple!

Ripple On My Friends!!!

Steve

Community Is Where You Create It

Last night I participated in the monthly Austin Business BLOGGERS Club "informal" gathering at a local Mexican food restaurant called Guero's Taco Bar. It was well attended by some really sharp people and after some minor reluctance to attend (after a trying day), I was glad I decided to go. It was exactly what I needed!

As I watched and listened to how and why so many people passionately and diligently write their BLOGS each day, I found myself inspired; inspired in the fact that so many people showed up, openly shared ideas, tips, tricks and had unfiltered, unedited conversation. As I watched people throughout the night, I watched people change. People who had once been strangers were now becoming friends.

It was the beginning of what I hope will become a fun community.

As I drove home last night, I found myself wondering why I don't do more of these kinds of things. Community really is where you create it. Much of the time it can be something as simple as getting a group of BLOGGERS together for an evening of chips and salsa (and the occasional cold beer) or a group of Mom's concerned about their child's local school. Community usually begins and ends with passionate people coming together to share ideas, express opinions and truly connect.

What areas in your life do you have interest in? Whatever it is, guaranteed there is someone, likely many 'someones,' that are out there wanting to share in your passion and in your interests and would be willing to bring the same. Start looking for them, pick a place to meet and let the chips (or salsa) fall will they may. I bet you will be surprised how quickly your community blossoms and grows.

In case you are interested in learning more about our next Austin Business BLOGGERS Club or a list of those who attended last night's meeting, check out Thom Singer's BLOG post today by clicking here.

Ripple On My Friends!

Steve

Ripple Connection Question of the Week

"WHAT BOOKS HAVE
YOU READ RECENTLY?"

I have to admit it.....this is one my favorite connection questions of all time. It reveals a whole lot about a person as to their interests, their guilty pleasures and perhaps a bit of an insight as to whom they are as a person.

In order to use this question effectively, you have to be prepared with a follow up. Something like:

"I have not heard about that book can you tell me more about it?"

"Would you recommend it?"

"How are you using it in your business?" (Obviously we aren't talking about Harlequin Romance novels with this question. Well unless perhaps you are Bill Clinton - just kidding.)

"Oh I read that book too. Would you be interested in comparing notes?"

"If you liked that book might I suggest....."

The types of books one reads provides oodles of connection points and can enhance the relationship you either already have or hope to develop with the person you are talking to. Plus with a little refined question and answer you can understand where the person's interests reside and further add to the relationship value by making additional book suggestions with similar themes or concepts.

Try Rippling yourself to some new connections this week by using this question and let me know how it goes? Plus take a moment to answer the question right here and now! I would love to know what my readers are reading!

Ripple On My Friends!

Steve Harper
www.ripplecentral.com

Peas Aren't What Define You

Okay...I have to admit that this post is a few days past due. I apologize for that. My wife surprised me with a little pre-Birthday get away and I had limited access to the Internet.

As promised, here is part two of my discussion with my prospective client about not bringing out the peas before they are ready.

"But Steve, if I am not talking about my business what is there to talk about?"

I often get this question when I talk about making a personal connection before jumping right in and talking business. I am actually quite surprised that some people can't seem to see the value in themselves without utilizing the peas (career, product, service, industry, etc.) as a mechanism to define who they are.

Quick word of advice.....

The peas do not define you. It is simply what you do or what you offer.

You define you!

You are the common denominator here. You....You....You....!

You are what people want to get to know. You are where the stories come from. You are what reaches out and makes an otherwise mundane random connection personal and potential profitable.

Peas have no personality. Peas have no sass.

Peas don't tell a story. Peas aren't usually interesting.

Peas are.....well, just peas. You get me?

As my prospective client and I continued to talk I could sense that he was uncomfortable with my advice. I continued to probe him about why the prospect of being himself made him uneasy in a business situation. To which he answered, "It just seems unnatural. I guess I am more comfortable talking about business than I am trying to get personal with someone I just met."

To which I explained and reminded him of a very important aspect of business.

People do business with people they know, like and trust. No matter how hard you try, no matter how well you make them look and of course no matter how great you say they taste, your peas, as peas, fail to help people know you, like you and trust you.

YOU influence whether people want to know you, how quickly they like you and how you interact and how interesting you make that connection lays the foundation for building trust in you. I submit the quickest and most successful way to do that is to Ripple yourself to be better connections by separating yourself from the rest of the herd. There are no rules.

Well...other than mine and which is....

Keep your peas in your pocket be the You that is You!

Ripple On My Friends!

Steve

Keep Your Peas In Your Pocket and Make a Real Connection

The other day I was having lunch with a potential client and the subject of networking came up. This business leader mentioned that he had heard a number of positive things about my 8 Minute Ripple events and wondered how they might be different than the general business mixers and chamber luncheons he was accustomed to attending.

When we began talking about the 8 Minute Ripple and the fact that I specifically position the event to be about creating real connection between my participants and that we specifically request that people keep their business agendas at home, he was confused.

"But Steve if business people are there to meet other business people isn't it natural for one to expect that business is what people want to talk about?"

Not necessarily I answered but it is what is expected in "traditional networking" environments and hence why I tend to detest them so much.

Bottom line, when you meet someone for the first time and you ask or get asked that heinous question "So what do you do?" a defining moment occurs. In about the thirty seconds (sometimes way longer for audacious windbags that love to hear themselves talk) you have successfully narrowed your focus into a very finite category with very little room to grow if there is no immediate business connection.

I digress with this example but I think you will get the point.

New Guy - "So I love peas." business translation --- I sell insurance

Me - "I hate peas." business translation --- I don't need insurance

New Guy - "But peas are awesome." business translation --- But you need my insurance

Me - "Maybe for you." business translation --- No I don't now bug off

Uncomfortable silence ensues. This guy is now the freakoid that likes peas and because he likes peas and/or sells insurance the conversation has been narrowed down so quickly (what do you do and do you need what I have) there is no place to go with the conversation. It is now officially dead. Time of death....O'(I wish I Had Listened To That Harper Guy)6:30. Someone call the morgue stat!

Now what if you hadn't started with peas but something about what brought me to Austin or where I purchased my snazzy purple tie, or something that gave us a baseline for some communication that resembled two people getting to know each other? Instead our culture demands that we focus immediately on what this person can do for us or what we can do for them and if there is no immediate relevance its time to move on.

If pea brain and I had found some common ground....a connection point between the two of us and we took the time to build a little rapport, mutual admiration for one another, then when and if the subject of peas (or insurance) came up, he might have my full and captivated attention.

People there are no rules. How many of you are pushing peas when you should be pushing you. People connect with you. Despite what all the networking gurus and their fancy books say, connecting with people isn't a numbers or quantity game. It's an experience. Don't burn the experience and what might be an otherwise amazing future connection for yourself by popping your peas out before they have had time to cook.

Part Two and my client's reaction to keep your peas in your pocket in a day or two.


BTW.....we have our next 8 Minute Ripple happening on January 17th! Email me at steve@ripplecentral.com if you would like to come and NOT TALK ABOUT PEAS!

Ripple On Ripple Nation!

Steve