Peas Aren't What Define You

Okay...I have to admit that this post is a few days past due. I apologize for that. My wife surprised me with a little pre-Birthday get away and I had limited access to the Internet.

As promised, here is part two of my discussion with my prospective client about not bringing out the peas before they are ready.

"But Steve, if I am not talking about my business what is there to talk about?"

I often get this question when I talk about making a personal connection before jumping right in and talking business. I am actually quite surprised that some people can't seem to see the value in themselves without utilizing the peas (career, product, service, industry, etc.) as a mechanism to define who they are.

Quick word of advice.....

The peas do not define you. It is simply what you do or what you offer.

You define you!

You are the common denominator here. You....You....You....!

You are what people want to get to know. You are where the stories come from. You are what reaches out and makes an otherwise mundane random connection personal and potential profitable.

Peas have no personality. Peas have no sass.

Peas don't tell a story. Peas aren't usually interesting.

Peas are.....well, just peas. You get me?

As my prospective client and I continued to talk I could sense that he was uncomfortable with my advice. I continued to probe him about why the prospect of being himself made him uneasy in a business situation. To which he answered, "It just seems unnatural. I guess I am more comfortable talking about business than I am trying to get personal with someone I just met."

To which I explained and reminded him of a very important aspect of business.

People do business with people they know, like and trust. No matter how hard you try, no matter how well you make them look and of course no matter how great you say they taste, your peas, as peas, fail to help people know you, like you and trust you.

YOU influence whether people want to know you, how quickly they like you and how you interact and how interesting you make that connection lays the foundation for building trust in you. I submit the quickest and most successful way to do that is to Ripple yourself to be better connections by separating yourself from the rest of the herd. There are no rules.

Well...other than mine and which is....

Keep your peas in your pocket be the You that is You!

Ripple On My Friends!

Steve

Keep Your Peas In Your Pocket and Make a Real Connection

The other day I was having lunch with a potential client and the subject of networking came up. This business leader mentioned that he had heard a number of positive things about my 8 Minute Ripple events and wondered how they might be different than the general business mixers and chamber luncheons he was accustomed to attending.

When we began talking about the 8 Minute Ripple and the fact that I specifically position the event to be about creating real connection between my participants and that we specifically request that people keep their business agendas at home, he was confused.

"But Steve if business people are there to meet other business people isn't it natural for one to expect that business is what people want to talk about?"

Not necessarily I answered but it is what is expected in "traditional networking" environments and hence why I tend to detest them so much.

Bottom line, when you meet someone for the first time and you ask or get asked that heinous question "So what do you do?" a defining moment occurs. In about the thirty seconds (sometimes way longer for audacious windbags that love to hear themselves talk) you have successfully narrowed your focus into a very finite category with very little room to grow if there is no immediate business connection.

I digress with this example but I think you will get the point.

New Guy - "So I love peas." business translation --- I sell insurance

Me - "I hate peas." business translation --- I don't need insurance

New Guy - "But peas are awesome." business translation --- But you need my insurance

Me - "Maybe for you." business translation --- No I don't now bug off

Uncomfortable silence ensues. This guy is now the freakoid that likes peas and because he likes peas and/or sells insurance the conversation has been narrowed down so quickly (what do you do and do you need what I have) there is no place to go with the conversation. It is now officially dead. Time of death....O'(I wish I Had Listened To That Harper Guy)6:30. Someone call the morgue stat!

Now what if you hadn't started with peas but something about what brought me to Austin or where I purchased my snazzy purple tie, or something that gave us a baseline for some communication that resembled two people getting to know each other? Instead our culture demands that we focus immediately on what this person can do for us or what we can do for them and if there is no immediate relevance its time to move on.

If pea brain and I had found some common ground....a connection point between the two of us and we took the time to build a little rapport, mutual admiration for one another, then when and if the subject of peas (or insurance) came up, he might have my full and captivated attention.

People there are no rules. How many of you are pushing peas when you should be pushing you. People connect with you. Despite what all the networking gurus and their fancy books say, connecting with people isn't a numbers or quantity game. It's an experience. Don't burn the experience and what might be an otherwise amazing future connection for yourself by popping your peas out before they have had time to cook.

Part Two and my client's reaction to keep your peas in your pocket in a day or two.


BTW.....we have our next 8 Minute Ripple happening on January 17th! Email me at steve@ripplecentral.com if you would like to come and NOT TALK ABOUT PEAS!

Ripple On Ripple Nation!

Steve