Connect Deeper

I have spent a wonderful few days visiting with my dad who is in town from Albuquerque. Although our fishing trips haven't quite produced the number of fish I had hoped or promised, it has allowed us some great time to talk and just be with one another. There isn't a fish big enough that could outweigh the quality time and conversation I've had with my old man!

Before dad's visit, I had a plan. I wanted to know more about him and find out some of the things that he was passionate about. I decided to give him a little pre-trip homework as a way to connecting with him deeper. It started with a little email...asking him for a "favor."

One day while I was out riding on my bike and my iPod was set to shuffle when an unmarked track of incredible jazz started playing. I knew instantly it was from one of the CDs I had ripped on one of my trips home (before I knew what I was doing to get the CD with with artist information on the iPod - no laughing please!) and instantly I felt closer to my dad. I spent the rest of that night listening to a lot of unmarked tracks and thinking of him. That got my mind a churning.

I started thinking....I don't even know what my dad's favorite CDs are. These tracks I was listening too may or may not be one of his favorites. I had randomly just grabbed CDs and started burning when I had first gotten my iPod. Given the feeling that I was experiencing and how warm it made my heart an idea of connecting deeper with my dad started to unfold. With it came a plan....a plan to learn more about what he considers his top favorites.

So the next evening I started a short email entitiled "Favor." In that email I asked him to prepare a list - a little homework if you will before his visit to Austin. In that email I asked him the following:

• I asked him to preare a list of his favorite artists and albums of all time. I even asked him to bring me 10-15 of his favorite CDs - I wanted to be sure I captured the ones that meant the most to him. That would help my iPod listening make sure I felt close to him.
• I asked him to prepare a list of his all-time favorite books.
• I asked him to prepare a list of his all-time favorite movies.
• I also asked him to bring any of the sketchs or doodling he did when we was designing woodworking stuff; my dad has mad skills when it comes to woodworking and jewelry making.

My goal was to find some things that meant a lot to my dad and make damn sure I knew what they were. The results were amazing. My dad not only completed his homework assignment but he brought even more. Stories and smiles that accompanied the list was worth it's weight in gold. Heck I even found out the movie my parents were watching when they decided they were "getting serious!" Okay....maybe it was too much information (TMI as my kids might say) but it sure brought a smile to Dad's face when he spoke about it.

There are people in your life right now you know you want to connect with on a deeper more meaningful level. Whether it be family, friends, business associates, whatever. It just takes having the courage to ask the right kinds of questions to open up an entire world of connection points. Regardless of whether your connection is friendship, business or blood, take the time and you may just find yourself enjoying immersed in simple pleasures and distant memories which now don't seem so distant anymore.

That's connecting my friends!

Ripple On!!!

Remember To Soak It In

My dad is visiting us from Albuquerque this week. That means lots and lots of fishing! So far on our two limited outings dad hasn't done nearly as well as we had hoped. In fact yesterday, Josh my almost five year old, put us all to shame out-catching us all with a little Nemo pool. Sad.

I don't know how many times I caught myself this weekend, but it was more than a few, just watching my dad. It's as if my brain was on auto-camera mode trying its best to capture his looks when he did (finally) catch something or how he reacted to watching both Zach and Josh on the boat. His smiles. His laughs. Those moments I don't get nearly enough of because we see each other so little these days. Also sad.

It is times like these that I am reminded that I just need to stop and soak it in. Dad is getting older and I know he won't always be around and that hurts my heart so much that I can't breath when I think about it. I know his day to day life caring full-time for my mom who is in the late stages of Alzheimer's is taking a toll on him and it's trips out here that help to recharge his batteries a bit. It's his visits that do the same for me.

Moments are so fickle. They come and go so quickly that we often take them for granted and rarely appreciate them for the true gifts that they are. It's hard to remember to stop and take a breath and soak it in, but we must.

So my Ripple friends, whether you are spending time with you aging parents, hanging out with you kids, holding hands with your better half or simply having coffee with a good friend, remember to stop and soak it in. That mental snap-shot of time will be a gift you will treasure for years to come.

Ripple On!!!

The Breakfast Fairy Challenge

For those regular readers of my BLOG you know my dad cares for my mom who is suffering from the later stages of Alzheimer's disease. Despite the obviously challenges of carrying for someone in her condition he still does everything he can to include her in his everyday activities. That includes trips to Starbucks, shopping and to one of their favorite breakfast places in Albuquerque called Wecks.

Dad is a big believer in my Ripple concept. In fact he has been so great at promoting my book that I wish I had done this ten years ago so I could have hired him full-time as my agent when he might have had more time. He really missed his calling! Anyway he is especially sensitive to Ripples when they happen and enjoys sharing the stories of them with me every time they occur.

Despite my mom not being able to carry on a conversation dad makes sure that she never just sits there. He talks to her non-stop and has enough conversation for them both and I truly believe that though this disease has taken its toll on mom she still hears and understands what he is saying to her. Well the intense love and affection that dad shows mom when they are out and about gets attention. To some it might appear sad but to most, I like to believe, it might serve as a tiny bit of inspiration as to just how to be in this world.

It was during one of mom and dad's routine trips to Wecks that this attention and the power of the Ripple collided. It seems that as dad was finishing feeding mom and was looking to settle their tab that the waitress said the bill had been taken care of by the breakfast fairy. I can almost see my dad's expression as the sheer gesture assuredly caused his eyes to water up.

It seems that another couple sitting close to mom and dad asked their waitress to put their breakfast on their ticket and paid for it. There was no grandstanding or fan fare, they just wanted to pay for that tiny bit of inspiration that they had seen exuding from my parents at the next table. It was their way of saying thank you. They left, unfortunately, without saying a word to my folks.

Dad assuredly sat there perplexed by what had occurred but no doubt basking in the after effects of being Rippled.

Since dad shared this story with me they have had several other occurrences of various people doing the very same thing. It is so reassuring to know that the spirit of kindness and recognition is still very much alive and that breakfast fairies apparently run rampant in Albuquerque, New Mexico!

So who could you be the breakfast fairy for this weekend? Who is sitting behind their laptop at Starbucks looking as if they could use a piece of coffee cake. What older couple do you see still hanging together after all these years that might be blown away by having their check taken care of? Look around when you are out today, tonight, this weekend.....who could use a little breakfast fairy Ripple magic?

Talk about an incredible Ripple!

Thank you breakfast fairy for being so kind to my parents. The stories and the Ripples are forever etched in BOTH of their minds and hopefully in those of my readers as well!

If you find inspiration in this do me a favor....don't just read it. Do something with it. Be a breakfast fairy, Ripple On, this blog post and let's see if we can drum up a lot of breakfast fairy appearance this weekend! What do you say?

Ripple On!!!

Steve Harper


P.S. Do you have a Breakfast Fairy story? Or perhaps you create one this weekend....Please share it with us! Your submission may just end up as an inclusion in my next book!!!

Ripple Connection Question of the Week

Hope everyone had a wonderful Easter!!!

This week's Ripple Connection Question really hits close to home. You see I have traveled to Albuquerque to be with my folks as my mom goes through some pretty major surgery tomorrow (Tuesday). Frequent readers of my BLOG know that my mom is in the later stages of Alzheimer's and she hasn't been in the best of health. Though we don't exactly know what to expect we hope she pulls through tomorrow with no complications. Though in her condition any kind of procedure is fairly involved but I have a good feeling.

Alzheimer's disease is a horrible, horrible disease that shows no mercy and it has literally robbed my folks of their golden years. Dad has been an absolute saint vowing to take care of his true love every morning, noon and night and has for the past several years. To see how he cares for her is really inspirational and I swell with pride everytime I am home.

At any rate, as I flew out here this morning I kept thinking of one of my favorite Ripple Connection Questions which seemed very appropriate given my family's personal circumstances. Needless to say I thought I would share it with you and ask that you don't leave any words left unsaid with the ones that you love or who are simply important to you. Pick up the phone, write that letter or jump on an airplane and hold that hand as you share what is in your heart. Do it before circumstances prevent your words from being heard because that is a bell for which the toll can no longer be unrung.

So with no further adieu.....

What are you failing to say to
those who most need to hear it?

I may be offline for a day or two but promise to be back online with some more good Ripple stuff as soon as I am able. Until then, embrace this day, use the Ripple Connection Question and go make some Ripples in someone else's life by extension your own.


Ripple On!!!

Steve Harper


P.S. In case you missed this past weekend's Ripple On News and Notes newsletter and want to see what you missed, drop me an email and I will forward a copy to you (please be patient as it may take me a bit to send it to you because Internet connection in good old New Mexico is hard to come by!). If you have interest in signing up for future editions, please sign up by going to my website and signing up on the front page! Click here!!!