Fly Fishing Leads To Better Connecting

So during my vacation I got the opportunity to do a lot of fly fishing. I must first say that I am not an experienced fly fisherman. However having done it a few times over the past few years I have grown to love the sport and have gotten myself proficient enough that I can catch more fish than I lose.

There is something quite majestic and magical about the process. It is quite different from what I normally do which is bass fish. There's a completely different technique, approach and attitude that comes with fly fishing. Aside from the actual process of catching fish I find that sitting in a river and listening to the natural beat of the pulsating water actually has to be one of the most relaxing things I have ever done.

While standing in a stream in Colorado last week soaking in the incredible scenery, sounds and rhythm of a perfect mountain day something happened. I began to realize how similar the technique and approach I was taking to casting my fly out into the oncoming stream was to actually connecting with someone new. The analogous processes struck me as so incredibly similar, I just had to share.

To fly fish well you have to be willing to put yourself out there in the river with the fish. The water is often rough, cold and you constantly have to pay attention to your footing otherwise you might lose your balance and go for a rather unpleasant swim. The same rules apply when looking to make new connections. You have to be aware of your environment and be willing to put yourself in the position to make the right connections. Similar to fishing I think connecting requires a good bit of balance as well; balance in understanding who you are and what it takes to encourage people to want to get to know you.

Not only do you have to be out in the water but you have to gracefully move upstream. You have to navigate the oncoming water and river slick rocks to constantly move yourself forward to new spots to cast your line. Bad fisherman are often too aggressive as they move upstream. They splash, make noise, walk heavy and ultimately scare the fish off. Similarly to connecting I think one needs to constantly be willing to step forward and be open enough to look for new people to connect with whenever or wherever they may be. Whether it be at Starbucks, your son's soccer game, church, the neighborhood BBQ or the chamber luncheon. And of course like with fishing you can't walk up to a complete strange with an attitude of aggressiveness or arrogance lest they will swim away right before your very eyes.

Fly fishing is a graceful sport that requires the right preparation and equipment before you step foot into the river. A fly fisherman has to have a wide variety of flies to offer the potential fish because often times the fisherman won't know what might attract the fish until he or she is already in the thick of the river. That takes planning, preparation and a keen sense of awareness of what is working and what is not. Just like with connecting with someone new. You need to be prepared to engage people in a manner that makes them want to hear more of what you have to say. You have to have know what attracts people and keeps them engaged. You have to know that if something isn't working that you need to try something else. This takes practice and constant refinement but like with fishing it is an art form.

So you have moved up stream and found a good spot. You have the right fly on the end of your line. You have the right technique and presentation to perfectly lay that fly just upstream and you watch as it peacefully floats on of the bubbly surface. THEN WHAM - a fish hits! This is when the adrenaline starts pumping and in that split second you have to react and hook the fish. Fly fishing is such that the line where the fly is attached is very delicate. Be too aggressive in setting the hook and you will pull the fly out of the fish's mouth or worse...break your line. There is a real finesse to hooking the fish and playing it back to you. You have to be patient and mindful of the fish's pride. Some fish fight harder than others and it takes a certain calmness and fortitude to turn all your focus and attention to the fish and let the situation play out. But if you show the fish the respect it deserves eventually it calms down and you can slowly begin to pull the fish towards you. If done right the results will be so worth it.

Networking, connection or simply engaging people in general is very similar. Once you have their attention it is important to take your time and don't rush things. No one cares what you do, what you sell or if you need a job or not. People will follow their urge to dart upstream when your objectives are your primary focus. You have to put your time, energy, attention and focus on them period! Connecting is a delicate game and rushing to force feed a connection a business card, sales pitch or whatever will result in a broken line of connection every time.

Just like with your fish, you have to let things play out. You have to show your connection the respect he or she deserves. You do that by demonstrating a genuine interest in learning about them and who they are as a person first. You take your time and ask engaging and insightful questions (Ripple Connection Questions) and if done right the results will so be worth it.

The river is flowing and there are lots of fish out there. How many are you preparing to catch?

I have an extra set of waders so come on in the water is perfect!

Ripple Formula

Photo by Hypergurl

Stone. Water. Action.

You throw the stone.

The stone hits the water.

The splash that the stone creates is the direct result of the action you just took.
The Ripple Effect of the water fanning out is the sometimes unpredictable result of the action.

Simple right?

For the sake of this BLOG, my book and of course the countless speeches and trainings I give all over the country the same exact formula can be applied to your life and career.

Think of someone you want to make an impact on.

What is important to them? What might they need? What are they possibly missing?

Figure out that and you have your stone.

Now take that stone and turn it into action. Create a splash and in turn a Ripple for them.

Maybe that means opening a door to a new job or new connection for them. Maybe that means helping them gain access to information that only you can provide. Maybe it as simple as buying them a cup of coffee to let them know you are there to talk if they need someone to talk to.

The Ripples we create by taking the time to create the action for others is where the unpredictable and often incredible Ripples come back to us; often in was we could never imagine or foresee.

I met a very nice young lady a few months ago as a favor to another friend of mine. My friend knew this gal was struggling with her new business and couldn't necessarily afford an executive or personal coach but knew she needed help. She knows that I am always a sucker to help a new entrepreneur in a pinch so she made the call and I agreed to a meeting.

It turns out the woman I met with had a great business but basically needed to be pushed and prodded on a few market strategies and ultimately needed a few doors opened for her (stone). I helped her validate what she was thinking in terms of strategy and took action and opened a few doors for her (action). She was incredibly grateful for the Ripples that I started for her and made some immediate inroads she likely would not to have made on her own (Ripple). She shared my philosophy with her husband who works for a major company that just so happened to be a company I wanted to get into. He was so impressed with what I had done for his wife's confidence that he wanted to learn more about what I did and how it might be applied in the work is company does. Today we are exploring ways to bring the Ripple concept into his company (Ripples extending out and returning to me).

Not all Ripples you create for others will automatically return to you but that isn't the point. The simple fact that you are willing to take the chance and create a Ripple for someone stacks a significant portion of the odds in your favor that something good will come out of your efforts. Whether that is a Ripple that buoys your personal or professional agenda or not, the simple feeling of satisfaction of helping another human being in my opinion is the ultimate reward.

Stone. Water. Action.

Are you ready to Ripple?

Well then.....Ripple On My Friends!!!

What Connection Technology Are You Using?

I get asked a lot about social networking technology and other variant applications available (Free or next to free) out there on the web.

I know what works for me and as you might suspect, I don't use many of them outside of LinkedIn, Twitter, Yahoo Groups, etc. For me I think I am still old school. Nothing replaces a face to face or personal approach to getting to know someone. But I do know there are tools out there that people are having successes with, likely many of which I have no idea what they are or how they are being utilized.

So it got me thinking......

What are the people who read this BLOG using? What kinds of technology are you utilizing to discover, build and strengthen your relationships out there on the virtual highway or life?

I thought it might be an interesting conversation thread to start and to see what comes out of it. I know I still have much to learn and I am certain the insight shared could benefit us all.

Hope you will consider sharing what works for you and what doesn't. Consider bringing a friend or two into the conversation and let us hear what they are using!

Look forward to learning about some of the cool stuff that I know exists but likely haven't yet discovered myself!

Ripple On!!!

Great Customer Service Leads To Water Slide

It had been an extremely long day driving out of Colorado, through Wyoming and into South Dakota. We had pushed hard throughout the morning and early afternoon to get to South Dakota so that we could see the Crazy Horse Memorial as well as Mt. Rushmore on our official "final day" of fun vacation stuff. We made both monuments without any problem and majestic would be an understated word to describe both sites. We were truly blown away and so glad we had added the stops to our Harper Family Road Trip 2008.

When we left Mt. Rushmore, our second stop of the day, we were ready to make it into Rapid City, South Dakota, find our hotel and let the kids enjoy the waterpark that was apparently part of the allure for why Kathy had picked that particular hotel as our place of slumber. We were all tired. We were all cranky. We were all on each others' nerves. Those final 20 minutes from Rushmore seemed like an absolute eternity.

The thing you need to know about us is we are a wing it family. We did not make reservations for this particular hotel because we weren't 100% sure when or if we would even be staying in Rapid City. We decided if this apparently popular hotel had a room for us then so be it. If not, then we would suffer the consequences (which would be hours upon hours of whining and crying from the boys about the promised waterpark) and find another place to lay our heads.

We drove into Rapid City and our map was unclear as to how to get to the hotel. The website information Kathy had printed off became clear as mud; potentially a side effect from our worn out state at the time. I pulled up my trusty iPhone and tapped in the address and viola! Still lost! I surrendered and asked Kathy to give me the number which I promptly dialed.

A wonderfully upbeat woman answered on the other end. I inquired about directions on how to get to where she was from the road I was currently on. She gave great directions and as we were about to disengage I just happened to ask if they had any rooms available. "You mean you don't have a reservation?" I replied with the obvious. A tiny uncomfortable laugh escaped her mouth and she said, "Let me check. Hmmm yes you are in luck we have one room left - it's a suite, what's your name...." I gave her my appropriate information and pushed on the gas.

I high tailed it over to the hotel and walked in to a smiling face that I just knew had to be the woman I had just spoken to moments ago. I started to say my name as I approached the desk and she said, "You must be Steve." The warm confident young lady instantly made this last leg of my trip an absolute pleasure. "I have everything ready for you sir. We didn't talk about price though. That suite is a bit pricey at $ 249. I hope that is okay?"

The price was higher than Kathy had printed out, though in truth, it was for a bigger more spacious room. I said, "No problem. Thank you so much for holding it for me." She smiled and processed my key. "What time does the waterpark close?" I asked.

"You just made it. It closes at 9PM." It was 7:15.

"Great. Does our room key get us access?" I asked.

"No sir. The waterpark is $ 49.95" I instantly assumed that meant per person. The color left my face. My kids would be crushed. We can't pay $ 49.95 per person for just 1.5 hours. Oh it was going to be a long night for sure I thought to myself.

"Listen is there any kind of discount we might be able to get given there is only a few hours left and we can't take advantage of the park tomorrow as we are leaving really early?" As with most things in life you never know for sure until you ask.

She reached below her desk and with an enthusiastic smile she said, "Here, it's on the house." She gave me four waterpark wrist bands. I was overwhelmed by her random generosity. I wasn't looking for it to be free and actually argued with her that I would pay something, anything. She refused and said, "You better step on it. The kids are going to want as much time as they can get. You will too," she smiled.

She was absolutely right. After a very long but incredible day I got to see my boys and Kathy absolutely illuminate as they popped out of the three story water slides, got sprayed by the water flood and lazily traveled throughout the lazy river. It was a blast and something we all enjoyed immensly. It was a perfect ending to a perfect day (crankiness and other illustrative issues left off for posterity) and something that I am sure our entire family will remember for the rest of our lives.

I later called down to the front desk to inquire about food delivery options and Ms. Ya the fine young woman that helped me earlier answered. She again was spot on with her suggestions and before I hung up I just had to tell her once again how much my entire family appreciated her act of generosity. You could hear her upbeat voice pick up an octave or two as this direct show of appreciation bouyed her already enthusiastic spirit.

I later discovered that the hotel's discount was for $ 49.95 for up to five people so I misunderstood the pricing she gave me for the water park admission. Whether it was $ 49.95 or $ 200.00 the simple act of what Ms. Ya did made such an impression on me and was so appreciated by our entire family. It was a definite highlight of our amazing trip. La Quinta will absolutely be hearing from me because as you all know, good customer service is something that needs to be recognized and appreciated as this experience is no exception.

And of course...if you ever find yourself in Rapid City, South Dakota I would absolutely suggest you stay at the La Quinta and check out the WaTiki Waterpark but be sure to make a reservation and get there early to give ample time to enjoy the water slides. They were scary as hell for a guy like me but if my kids could do it I refused to be a wimp and not partake. I am glad I did.

If you go be sure to ask for Ms. Ya and tell her the Ripple Guy sent you!

Ripple On!!!