Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Only You Control Your Mojo

As I was preparing to speak to a sales conference last week something happened that could have easily taken me off my game and shattered my confidence. A lady came up to me minutes before I was to go on stage and said she had seen me speak before. Though she thought I was very entertaining or so she said, she found very little value in the concept of Rippling. So much so she felt compelled to say, "It sounds great in theory but serious business professionals don't have time to wait to get to know someone and connect like you propose. Time is money ya know and we have business to earn."

We offered a polite rebuttal but realized that it was somewhat falling on deaf ears. Her mind was made up. She wished me good luck and the said something that absolutely blew my mind but made me smile big time. She said she was amazed at how many people were talking about my concept and how many different areas around town she had heard my name. She told me that as if she were truly impressed and even said how glad she was to come up and shake my hand again. She may not have meant her first comment the way it sounded but clearly she was so missing the point by revealing what she shared. Rippling obviously does so work....maybe for her she just needs to find some bigger stones to throw...who knows.

The point is I was there to speak about Rippling. I could have easily mentally rewritten what I was about to speak on to validate and defend my core message and show exactly why it does so work for serious business professionals. I could have taken away my quirky stories and focused on hard nosed facts and figures about why traditional networking will never get these people the results they want because the sheer process is fundamentally flawed. I could have changed my entire message to make the Ripple appear more worthy of their time and attention and thus try and force feed the message to each of them.

But that's not my style.

A couple of years ago, a comment like that would have seriously compromised my mojo. It would have shaken me to the core and left me quivering and exceptionally nervous before getting up on stage before an audience of any size.

Not any more. Why?

Because, like you, I am in complete control of my mojo. No one controls my mojo but me. The only way I could let someone take my mojo away or alter it in any way would be if I give them permission to do so....and I don't. You shouldn't either.

Everyone is going to have critics. Sometimes people will say things to you that if you let it, will absolutely cut you to the core. Notice I said if you let it. It's very important for you to not let those things cut you so. I know, I know its hard when it happens but like with everything, it comes with practice.

For me I end up finding that I use a little mental affirmation when faced with negative feedback or a critical opinion. I simply smile and say to myself, this person's words and opinions do not control you. Stay your course and you'll be fine.
Incidentally the lady came up to me after my presentation was over. I had a line of people waiting to meet me and after patiently waiting her turn handed me a book to sign and said, "I still don't get it but you sure were funny. This is for my boss, he likes this kind of stuff."

I smiled and simply said, "Thank you. What's your boss' name?"

Ripple On!!!


Karen Sopko said...

Obviously folks are getting the message...they just can't let themselves believe it. I have a personal theory about human behavior - folks will do whatever it takes (good or bad) to make the world fit their pre-defined view. This lady obviously has bought into the idea that taking time to make relationships is a waste, hense getting to know anyone including her is a waste. You did a lot of good!

Rami said...

obviously She didn't know what she is missing. But the sad thing is people like her are always wondering why they don't get what they want!

Arlin K. Pauler said...

This is a demonstration of the power of Rippling. Even as she proclaims it takes to much time she is there taking the time it takes and her comments to you indicate that it is working with her.
Rippling doesn’t necessarily take more time; though it does require effort. Seems to me that Rippling is first and foremost an attitude. It is the attitude of interest in the other person while we are interacting with them. It’s not how much time we spend as it is why we spend it.
Steve, you obviously have this interest in people. Your work is about helping others have it also. I think your Rippling is working with this lady even while she appears to think otherwise.
Often “Life is what happens while we’re making other plans”.

terri said...

Juvenile comment ahead....

When I read what she said to you initially.... I thought, "(The B Word!)"

I'm glad you didn't let her comments have a negative effect on you. By the end of the post, I just felt sorry for her.

Sue said...

This is a relatively new concept to me in practice (controlling my mojo), although I have been aware of it in theory for many years.

It's very wonderful to see somebody else able to stand up and continue on this way.

Steve Harper said...


Great point as always!

Ripple Game planning soon?


Steve Harper said...


That is a valid point. Many people spend their time focused on the wrong outcomes.

Ripple On!!!


Steve Harper said...


I think it will be one of those V-8 moments where it all becomes crystal clear and she realizes that yes in fact, Rippling has been working (for her) all along. It would be great to be there when it happens....

Thanks as always for your comments my friend. I know I owe you an action item from your email. It's been a crazy week. I will get back to you I promise!

Ripple On!!!


Steve Harper said...


LMAO - that is classic. I can always count on you to tell it to me straight. I soooo love that about you!

Thanks for the smile this morning.

Ripple On!!!


Steve Harper said...


Thanks. Having read some of your stuff I don't think controlling your mojo is a new or difficult concept for you. I like your mojo - so keep it up!

Ripple On!!!


中島美嘉mika said...
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