How Guys Relate On A Friday Night

It's Friday and yes I am in one of those moods. Time to have a little fun. Hope you won't mind.

I won't deny that my book, The Ripple Effect, has done exceptionally well in the female demographic. In fact, the ratio of women to men who have purchased the book is easily 4 to 1.

Women get it. Women understand how important building and strengthening relationships is to their personal and professional lives. Women appreciate the intricate nature of having a strategy to finding and nurturing connection points. Guys on the other hand.....well....

It's not that men don't get these things. It's just different. Usually if we can't fish it, hunt it or kill it with a bat, and grunt about it afterwards while we share a frosty cold one, then something is wrong.

No with guys it's often totally different. Guys don't build relationships, they bond...beer is usually a requirement. Guys don't nurture but we will say "COOL!" when one of us bleeds. We won't notice what label another guy is wearing because, well that would just be plain weird. Guys don't care what their hair looks like around the other guys. But again, if you lose some hair in huge clumps during some "grand plan" that mysteriously goes awry, again we will say "awesome!" Again, beer or some alcoholic stimulant is usually a must have.

So I received a call from a buddy this past week which illustrates my point.

"Hey Harper, what's up?" (Men speak for how are you) "You know how you are always talking about that relationship building stuff," he asked sternly. (you mean what I do for a living, umm yes?) "We were all thinking we should be doing some of that." (impressive) "But only our way!" (uh oh...but I am in!) We killed some stuff and found a place "way out" to have a big 'ol fire." (dead animals over an open pit in the middle of some field somewhere...I am absolutely in!) "We can get some big coolers and throw a 'buncha' beer on ice, pig out and swap some stories." (heaven party of one!)

I will go out on a limb her ladies and tell you that stories aren't about our lives or what makes us tick. They usually revolve around who could beat who in a fist fight or what we would do if we met a Dallas Cowboy cheerleader. Or how we all could have dated Cindy Crawford and/or once knew Eva Longoria. It will always cover some element of sports and no matter how the conversation goes, it will inevitably be followed by some rude, crude and socially unacceptable behavior. Hence why I think these things happen in a "field" far, far way from anyone who could take pictures or retell a story come Monday.

Yep guys relate differently alright. But we do relate in the end.

What can I say, it's Friday, the weather has turned a bit chilly here and some good old Texas BBQ (just hope it isn't Possum and Armadillo), beer and b.s.'ing with the boys under the stars sounds like a perfect way to spend a Friday night.

Enjoy your weekend my friends and as always....

Ripple On!!!

Steve

Dallas Connection With a Smile

So I am in Dallas the early part of this week presenting the Ripple at The Contingent Workforce Summit. One of my favorite places to eat while in Dallas is S&D Oyster Company. It's a must have every single time I come to Dallas.

Well I came in yesterday and despite the cold and the rain, I ventured from my posh hotel digs at The Fairmont Hotel to head over for a late lunch. I am so glad that I did.

I always talk about people coming into our lives for a reason. Here I am in Dallas to share with some of the most recognizable names in the country why the power of connection is so important and life just had to remind me that even Mr. Ripple has to be reminded of this very important and critical lesson sometimes.

I love eating at the S&D Oyster Company for a variety of reasons: great food, occasional celebrity sightings, the wonderful ambiance and the outstanding service. It's an amazing spot nestled in a really interesting part of Dallas and of course me being a people watcher, I get an interesting show every time I come.

Well yesterday I had come into Dallas late and missed the majority of the lunch crowd. At first I was disappointed as the restaurant had only a handful of tables taken. I was promptly shown to a small table near the inside wall. My mouth watered with the anticipation of their specialty cocktail sauce that they make right at the table for the incredible oysters they serve. My stomach growled with anticipation as I downed my last oyster and waited for their specialty BBQ shrimp to arrive.

As I sat there and munched on my in-between appetizer of coleslaw, I noticed a gentlemen sitting next to me. He had ordered the exact same thing as I had and had a look of equal satisfaction on his face. As I surveyed his table our eyes met and I saluted him with my water glass and he did the same.

"Great food they have here don't you think?" he asked me.

"Absolutely. I so love this place," I remarked with noticeable enthusiasm.

He smiled. He was an older gentlemen maybe somewhere in his late seventies or early eighties.

He asked me if I was from Dallas and I explained that I was here for a conference. He asked with great interest about the conference and, I just loved the Ripple-esq quality of the question, "what I hoped to learn from it."

I explained that I hoped to learn as much as I could teach and went on to relay that I was one of the presenters. He was interested in my unique approach and peppered me with questions about the Ripple and how I had come up with such a concept at such a young age. I appreciate the compliment more than you could know.

And so the conversation went, two men from very different ages engaged in cross table conversation enjoying both the company, the atmosphere and the connection.

It seems my new friend, Charles comes to S&D Oyster Company fairly regularly. He is retired and comes intentionally late to miss the lunch crowd. I explained I love the lunch crowd and was disappointed that I missed it because of the people watching I get to do. He really seemed to like my approach to watching the crowd and said he may have to change his thinking and try enjoying people, not considering them an annoyance.

He tipped his pretend hat as he got up from the table and asked me for my card which I gave to him of course. "I am not much into computers but if I can remember how to turn mine on, I promise to check out your website."

We shook hands as if old friends and agreed that maybe our paths would again one day cross.

As I settled my bill the young lady at the cash register asked me the oddest question:

"How did you get Charlie to talk?" To which my expression of surprise by her question was followed by, "I mean Charlie doesn't talk to anyone."

"I just smiled at him and we both found connection in your great food," I said.

"You know that guy is probably only two or three steps below Mark Cuban and Ross Perot."

"Steps?" I asked.

"Yep," she said as she handed me my change, "He's one of the richest guys in all of Dallas. And in all of the time in working here, I have never seen him talk to a soul. Seems nice but he must have liked you to actually talk. I think we've all tried and nada...zilch."

"A smile," she asked "really?" She said it more in disbelief than anything. "Well isn't that something." She smiled and walked off to seat an older couple who came in the front door.

I laughed to myself as I looked at his vacated table....

"I hear you," I told my imaginary conscience. Even the Ripple man needs a reminder every now and again. Yes I know that you never know who will cross your path in life. And yes, it is so true.

So Charlie, if you ever do find my website and my BLOG, lunch is on me next time and maybe we could sit at the same table for a spell. I really enjoyed the company.

Ripple On!!!

Steve Harper

Ripple Connection Question of the Week

Ripple Connection Questions are a unique way to engage people in conversation. Whether with a complete stranger or someone you already know, but want to know better, using Ripple Connection Questions (RCQ) accelerate the dialogue and deepen the connection. The questions are by design, fun to ask and fun to answer, and can take your connection to an entirely new level. Come on, break out of that shell of yours and start Rippling.

So with no further adieu....this week's question is:

What is one childhood fantasy
that you still secretly wish
had actually happened?

Let me let my readers in on a little secret. I was a super hero wanna be. I am sure many of you were. But I honestly used to dream of being called in as a replacement for Peter Parker. I always thought he was a bit of a limp noodle and someone like me could spice up the old Spidey image. And...with me at the helm there was no way the Justice League wouldn't come calling.

Like I said.....fantasy. Though I still think I could look pretty darn buff in the old tights!

What about you? What wish do you still secretly hold onto?


Ripple On!!!

Steve