Friday, October 26, 2007

How Guys Relate On A Friday Night

It's Friday and yes I am in one of those moods. Time to have a little fun. Hope you won't mind.

I won't deny that my book, The Ripple Effect, has done exceptionally well in the female demographic. In fact, the ratio of women to men who have purchased the book is easily 4 to 1.

Women get it. Women understand how important building and strengthening relationships is to their personal and professional lives. Women appreciate the intricate nature of having a strategy to finding and nurturing connection points. Guys on the other hand.....well....

It's not that men don't get these things. It's just different. Usually if we can't fish it, hunt it or kill it with a bat, and grunt about it afterwards while we share a frosty cold one, then something is wrong.

No with guys it's often totally different. Guys don't build relationships, they is usually a requirement. Guys don't nurture but we will say "COOL!" when one of us bleeds. We won't notice what label another guy is wearing because, well that would just be plain weird. Guys don't care what their hair looks like around the other guys. But again, if you lose some hair in huge clumps during some "grand plan" that mysteriously goes awry, again we will say "awesome!" Again, beer or some alcoholic stimulant is usually a must have.

So I received a call from a buddy this past week which illustrates my point.

"Hey Harper, what's up?" (Men speak for how are you) "You know how you are always talking about that relationship building stuff," he asked sternly. (you mean what I do for a living, umm yes?) "We were all thinking we should be doing some of that." (impressive) "But only our way!" (uh oh...but I am in!) We killed some stuff and found a place "way out" to have a big 'ol fire." (dead animals over an open pit in the middle of some field somewhere...I am absolutely in!) "We can get some big coolers and throw a 'buncha' beer on ice, pig out and swap some stories." (heaven party of one!)

I will go out on a limb her ladies and tell you that stories aren't about our lives or what makes us tick. They usually revolve around who could beat who in a fist fight or what we would do if we met a Dallas Cowboy cheerleader. Or how we all could have dated Cindy Crawford and/or once knew Eva Longoria. It will always cover some element of sports and no matter how the conversation goes, it will inevitably be followed by some rude, crude and socially unacceptable behavior. Hence why I think these things happen in a "field" far, far way from anyone who could take pictures or retell a story come Monday.

Yep guys relate differently alright. But we do relate in the end.

What can I say, it's Friday, the weather has turned a bit chilly here and some good old Texas BBQ (just hope it isn't Possum and Armadillo), beer and b.s.'ing with the boys under the stars sounds like a perfect way to spend a Friday night.

Enjoy your weekend my friends and as always....

Ripple On!!!



Anonymous said...

This is such a funny but true observation. I am forwarding this right now to my husband who has read your book but has a hard time believing he is a relater. He will get an absolute kick out of your post!

Ripple On Steve & Have Some Fun Tonight!


MagnumVox said...

Well my friend, just the other day I had a very interesting phone conversation with another male friend in which he started to get it!!

He had flown into California and was relaxing before continuing with a series of interviews for a position at the USA branch of an international corporation. He called me to essentially get my analysis of the whole networking thing.

I shared my observations and experiences and related what has been of value to me. He then asked me about some guy named Steve Harper (not the Canadian pres, heh heh) and The Ripple Effect.

I related how and why I continue to find myself in alignment with Mr. Ripple and The Ripple Effect experience.

The "light bulb" moment happened:
"So, what you and Steve are talking about and doing isn’t about a technique… it’s about a way of being."

I told him he’d hit the proverbial nail square on its striking surface. He couldn’t see it but I had the biggest grin on my face; I was so happy for him!

How did the conversation end?
My friend decided to try out this "new" approach during his remaining time in California… even in his interviews.

Why was this so vital??

The position for which he was interviewing involves being the connector/facilitator for teams, with diverse goals, that are also situated in diverse geographic locations… teams that ultimately have to collaborate.

You tell me… does that have anything to do with relationship building? :o)

Anonymous said...


A camp fire.

Some cold beer.

Mr. Ripple.

I wish your guys outing would include at least one cute girl who is a huge fan of yours Steve!

Oh well.

Maybe someday. Though you would have to travel to California. I think you could have the same affect on the beach instead of a field.

Hope you guys had some fun!


Steve Harper said...

Thanks Rachel.

Where did you get the book if you don't me asking?


Thanks my friend. We should dig into this story at some point in the near future.


Umm....sorry no women allowed but thanks for being a fan!

Ripple ON my friends!!!