Referral Relationships Need Balance

I get asked a lot about how to take care of referral relationships which are typically different than the Ripple-focused connections and relationships I talk about here in this BLOG. However, after some careful consideration and several inquires on this subject, I thought I would share my perspective on how Referral Relationship should be.

One of the single biggest ways to wreck a referral network is to not take care of the people who take care of you. Period! End of story!

When people go out of their way to create referrals on your behalf I believe you owe them. I know, I know I always say when you do something for other people that you should not keep score and I still stick by that statement for the most part. My one caveat is referral relationships as I do believe that there is a certain amount of reciprocal effort that should be extended by the benefactor of your efforts. Maybe not every single time but more often than not! If nothing else, to insure that they communicate the efforts or actions you have taken on their behalf were appreciated and valued.

This situation just happened to me personally. I have someone whom I established a referral relationship with and have referred a lot of business to them over this past year. My efforts on their behalf have resulted in some pretty extensive collaborative relationships and some bottom line positive financial dollars for their firm. I have always been happy to provide referrals to this person because of the excellent work that I know their company to do and because of my personally satisfying experience using them. However, as I have continued to invest in the relationship both by utilizing this person's services for my own company and by continuing to refer business opportunities to them, my efforts were not being recognized or reciprocated. It wasn't obvious until I sat down and really looked at just how many opportunities I had referred to them and how out of balance the scales really were.

I believe that referral relationships only continue to grow and prosper when both parties add something to it. Now I am not suggesting that if I helped this organization secure a five thousand dollar opportunity that I would or should expect five thousand dollars of return opportunity back. But I do believe that on some level some commensurate return of effort is necessary to maintain some semblance of balance and equal contributory value. At minimum a heartfelt thank you and plain simple acknowledgement can go a long way towards balancing the books!

Bridging these kinds of conversations can be tricky but ultimately necessary if you hope to develop referral relationships that are both profitable and long lasting. I also think that having open and honest communication about what is expected and what ground rules both parties will live with, can go a long way towards building a stronger more equally rewarding relationship. Had I had this conversation up front when this person approached me about being a referral resource for one another, it would have saved me a lot of uneasiness and angst along the way.

Ripple On and Refer Right!

Steve

Use What You Have

As I reported yesterday, Austin was in the grips of Blizzard 2007! Though we got very little snow we did get "some" around noon and the wife and kids were abuzz with excitement. As the flakes began to fall we had to rush out and play in it!

My three year old son Josh used the wintry precipitation to take full advantage and made his personal attempt at being a snow angel. How or why he thought to lie down when to my knowledge, he has never even seen a snow angel before, was beyond me. But it was one of the most amazing actions I have seen him take and it was completely of his own doing. I found it inspiring and truly heart warming. One of those memories that will be with me forever!

As I thought about his actions this morning I began to equate it to my own life and the life of other business people I know. How many of us are waiting for our conditions to improve or for better things to happen (like more snow) before we take action and actually do something? How does that waiting affect us from fulfilling our real life's purpose?

For me, I worry that my material isn't enough. Major corporations or conferences won't consider me because I don't have a twenty thousand dollar high powered video and marketing package. It's the story I tell myself and what I am sure prevents me from attracting that which I desire. I'm waiting for my snow but I am focusing on the wrong thing.

If my son had waited even just thirty minutes more yesterday the conditions would have completely changed. His tiny little arms and those stubby little legs would not have even left an impression as the snow quickly turned to slush and was gone. His snow angle would never have gotten its wings and taken flight had he not done what he had done at the exact moment that he did it.

Oh what a tragedy that would have been.

What are waiting for? What conditions are you waiting to improve or become more ideal before you lay down and spread your wings to fly?

Forget waiting for things to be perfectly right as I suspect they never will.

Use what you have and make your mark and let the Ripples wander where they may. You may just find the conditions are exactly right!

Ripple On My Friends!


Steve

Snow Day! Without The Snow.

My eight year old son Zachary watched the news and the early prime time crawler with baited anticipation. The impending storm of 2007 (I have to laugh at our local news coverage) was headed our way and for an eight year old boy that could only mean one thing....

NO SCHOOL!

His excitement and anticipation immediately transformed me back to when I was a young boy back in Albuquerque where snow and ice were a much more regular occurrence than we see today in Austin, Texas. All of those nights camped out on the living room sofa waiting, hoping, and praying to see the beautiful shadow of snow flakes against the street light. That gloaming protection battling fervently against the winter night! The beat of my heart as that billowy light suddenly showed a flake, then two. Oh the excitement when the first dusting of snow started to accumulate. The rare prospect of a day without teachers and homework was almost too much to bear. The baited excitement of mindless hours of snow ball fights, snowman killing (a ritual of destroying of other kid's hand crafted snowmen), football games and countless other adventures that only snow made possible! It was what I lived for as a young whipper snapper!

Well today my son got his wish. No school, though because of ice rather than snow. We just came in from being outside "exploring" and seeing if we could make our recycling bin into a makeshift sled (doesn't work by the way). Zachary is excited because he gets a "free day" and Josh, my three and half year old is just pumped up because brother is jazzed.

It is moments like these that help you reach back and remember what it was like to be a kid. For me, it's a good reminder to lighten up a little and not worry so much about the work as it will be there later today and even tomorrow. It's a SNOW DAY and as Zachary said...I am not too old to have some fun with it!

If only I could make a snow ball! These ice balls really hurt!

Ripple On My Friends!

Steve
aka The Snowman Assassin

Peas Aren't What Define You

Okay...I have to admit that this post is a few days past due. I apologize for that. My wife surprised me with a little pre-Birthday get away and I had limited access to the Internet.

As promised, here is part two of my discussion with my prospective client about not bringing out the peas before they are ready.

"But Steve, if I am not talking about my business what is there to talk about?"

I often get this question when I talk about making a personal connection before jumping right in and talking business. I am actually quite surprised that some people can't seem to see the value in themselves without utilizing the peas (career, product, service, industry, etc.) as a mechanism to define who they are.

Quick word of advice.....

The peas do not define you. It is simply what you do or what you offer.

You define you!

You are the common denominator here. You....You....You....!

You are what people want to get to know. You are where the stories come from. You are what reaches out and makes an otherwise mundane random connection personal and potential profitable.

Peas have no personality. Peas have no sass.

Peas don't tell a story. Peas aren't usually interesting.

Peas are.....well, just peas. You get me?

As my prospective client and I continued to talk I could sense that he was uncomfortable with my advice. I continued to probe him about why the prospect of being himself made him uneasy in a business situation. To which he answered, "It just seems unnatural. I guess I am more comfortable talking about business than I am trying to get personal with someone I just met."

To which I explained and reminded him of a very important aspect of business.

People do business with people they know, like and trust. No matter how hard you try, no matter how well you make them look and of course no matter how great you say they taste, your peas, as peas, fail to help people know you, like you and trust you.

YOU influence whether people want to know you, how quickly they like you and how you interact and how interesting you make that connection lays the foundation for building trust in you. I submit the quickest and most successful way to do that is to Ripple yourself to be better connections by separating yourself from the rest of the herd. There are no rules.

Well...other than mine and which is....

Keep your peas in your pocket be the You that is You!

Ripple On My Friends!

Steve