Happy Birthday Mom

Mom,

I really don't know what to say to you and yet I have so much I want to say to you but the words wouldn't make sense; at least not in this format. The disease you have has robbed you of your mind, your body and the person I knew as "Mom." But every once in a while, those big brown eyes of yours sparkle again and that smile returns if only for just a moment and then it is gone as quickly as it appeared. It's those moments that I know Dad lives for as he cares for you; feeds and bathes you...unconditionally loves you.

It's those moments that I cherish when I am home. I know, I don't come home nearly often enough and for that all I can say is I am sorry. But rest assured there is not a day that goes by that I don't miss you. Miss you as you are today and miss you as you were.

Well August 21st is your birthday. Though you won't celebrate another year older and have another year ahead to look forward to, at least not in the way one should on their birthday, we still celebrate this day for you.

Oh Alzheimer's is such a cruel, cruel disease. We are glad you are still here and fighting the fight that you can. We miss that giggle and the smiles and Kathy misses those "special treat" trips you two used to make when we came home. And yes we miss even that high pitched scream that could wake the dead...you know the one you used to yell at Dad and me when we did something to anger you. Oh how I wish I could hear you yell at him...or me...one more time. Never thought it would be possible to miss that scream but somehow those memories now make me smile. Funny how that works isn't it?

I wish you a Happy Birthday on this day that is yours. August 21st will always be yours. I am sorry we can't be there to celebrate with you; Austin seems so far away doesn't it?

I know Dad will gussy you up and take you our for a nice dinner and adorn the kind affection he always has because he is a great man who loves you very much. I just hope that God will allow you to come back into focus for a few fleeting moments, smile that smile and enjoy this day as only you can.

I love you Mom. Happy Birthday!!!

Steve