Tuesday, June 03, 2008

The Networking Breakfast Poem

I am no Dr. Seuss but.....

I came to the networking breakfast under much duress
Very few things I like less
Fake smiles and sharp tooth grins
The pain of insincerity hurts my shins

I pay my entry and look for my name tag
The whole process makes me want to gag
When out of no where I see the bad!
I'm not Steve Sharper, It's Steve Harper...e-gad!

With smudged out name now across my chest
I venture out reluctantly to meet the rest
There's Bob the lawyer and Sally the sales rep
These people greet each other with such enthusiasm, such pep

A strong hang shake and too many business cards shoved in my face
I secretly wish I had packed a can of mace
Funny, quippy all too creative ways to describe their profession
I feel faint and fear I 'll need a psychiatric session

Oh the networking breakfast, painful no doubt
It's time for breakfast they all shout
We gather like cattle waiting for the so called food
We pour pathetic coffee so dark, so crude

I shall kill that friend of mine who made me come
To agree to this torture I admit I was dumb
A text from him saying he now can't make it
From the bowels of my soul I let out an "Oh sh**"

"So what do you do," the woman sitting next to me asks
My anger inside I desperately tried to mask
Oh me? I'm plotting a murder I wanted to say
Revenge on my mind I want him to pay

But alas I was polite and engaged her in chat
Somehow we ended up talking about her cat
The eggs were cold the meat barely edible
The connections I made weren't at all even credible

I remember why I don't go to events like this anymore
The effort it takes is just such a chore
As business cards are passed around the table
I bolt from my chair as quickly as I am able

To shouts of "I'll call you" and "We should talk some more."
I spring for the exit desperate to push through the door
Safe in my car I dial my friend's number
With a voice he answers obviously awoke from slumber

I can not share the remainder of this poem for fear of prosecution.

Needless to say....taking applications for friends. I have an opening.

Ripple On!!!


Sue said...

Sounds like a nightmare! Eeeps!

But you know, I still would have said 'plotting a murder' in a light-hearted tone. Humor cures a lot, you know.

Ann said...

Chuckling..I believe I have been at that same breakfast. :o)

Anonymous said...

Steve - I think Sue missed the point. The howl thing is humor filled.


Arlin K. Pauler said...

Seems to me that people are doing shallow networking because they don’t know there is anything more. They don’t know about to connecting Human Being to Human Being – Rippling. Though I end up hiding out a lot, I still see this kind of situation as an opportunity Ripple; to invite people to engage in sincere person to person conversation with me. Even if it is for nothing more than the current moment; it at least gives them a taste of what it is like to have a real connection with another Human Being. Best of all, engaging them with my sincere interest in them as the person they are is something I can do as a “power of one” – totally on my own. I don’t need their participation to invite them.
I realize this approach may not be your cup of tea. It is only an invitation to invite others to connect; for even the invitation is a Ripple. Who knows, once they try it they may well find they like it. The real serious relationship building can’t start until we create the basis for it, a sincere connection. I figure they may think I’m crazy but I’m not the only one. If I invite them they may join me and a connection begun.
After all, I remember the lady that told you she didn’t get the merit of Rippling and yet as a result of your Ripple, your invitation to connect, there was a positive impact.
Your fellow Rippler, Arlin.