Workplace Tension Can't Be Ignored - Part Four

I think we can agree that workplace tension exists and can wreck havoc in all aspects of our lives; not just while on the job. Research has shown that people who are unhappy at work or are subjected to a dysfunctional work environment are more likely to take out their pent up frustrations outside the job. They have unhappier personal relationships, they often experience depression, turn to drugs or alcohol or simply come home and take it out on Fido the dog. Well in the spirit saving Fidos around the world, let's see how the Ripple-Centric philosophy might help someone overcome and maybe even positively impact workplace tension.

The fundamental premise of my work is simple; treat people like you would want to be treated. Yes I know it's a turn the cheek kind of thing and may seem overly simplistic especially when you are dealing with a jerk like Archie in the workplace, but often the best solutions are the simplest ones of all.

If Archie is the key source of the workplace tension, short-circuit him or her. Engage Archie in conversation before he or she has an opportunity to crap on your day. Ask about their weekend, learn what you can about their home life, their hobbies, their favorite sports team. Ask specific targeted questions like "So Archie what do you do with your weekends?" or "You know Archietta (my made up female name) you always look so put together, where do you get your shoes." Ask these questions with a genuine look of interest and most importantly look them in the eye with just a glint of smile to show them you are a person...not an object.

You will be surprised, taking the first step by engaging someone who is otherwise used to having the first, and often painful, first word is a complete brain scramble to them. It will definitely force a state change and alter their normal way of communication and when you do that...well amazing things can start to happen. At minimum its am important first step.

Most company grouches are that way because subconsciously they don't feel like a part of what you and I belong to. They often feel like the outsider and many people use negative behavior as a means of showing they here and important too...YOU WILL NOTICE ME! To you and me it sounds so counter-productive but think of it from the other side of the fence. If I am a jerk to you, your department or I am the creator or chaos, I can't be ignored. Well show them you acknowledge them by short-circuiting their way of communicating by introducing a completely different track.

Though it seems painful and if Archie happens to be the boss, it can seem like a daunting task to engage them in conversation that at first will seem foreign to you but trust me...it works. Bottom line people like to be included and one way of doing that is engaging them in conversation early and often. Start the dialogue with Archie and then try a few of these things:

Ripple is all about taking action. The fundamental concept is taking action on someone else's behalf to effect some positive outcome without any expectation of repayment or reward.

• So let's say you learn that Archie is a Cubs fan. Bring in the Baseball weekly for him with the hottest new Cub's pitcher on the front page. Attach a note that says "Archie, thought you might want this. Enjoy! Steve." Leave it on his chair so he discovers it he comes back from lunch.
  

• Offer to take Archie and his department out for coffee or happy hour. Get people outside the walls of the office and get people talking. In my former company, the one way I got the service and sales staff to stop fighting and start talking was getting them to the same bar and letting the alcohol naturally breakdown some of the barriers to communication. I may have had a big bar bill at the end of those nights but the seeds of relationships were planted during those nights too and crop of better respect and communication amongst the staff was well worth it.
  

• Don't continue to ignore it! Call tension on the carpet. Stand up in a meeting and take it on the chin for the team. My department appears to have a problem with your department. Where did this come from and what can we do to fix it. The Ripple philosophy is all about open and honest communication but in a team environment and in all honesty between individuals, it takes someone to jump into the deep end of the pool first. Do it....the water may look dark and scary but it won't be for long and by your valiant effort will go a long way to helping people open up and start really talking.
  

• Find your connection points with Archie and his team and don't ever stop exploring for more of them. Sure you found out that Archie loves the Cubs but become a detective and try to uncover Archie's story. What brought him to the company. What does he like or dislike about the job. What goals and aspirations might he have. The sky is really the limit if you are inclined to try.

I literally could go on forever on this subject and I realize that each work environment doesn't just get literally changed by being nicer. Or do I? If you work for a company or with an individual that makes you miserable and causes you stress and tension, you are to blame. That's right....I said it....YOU ARE TO BLAME.

You have a choice. You can choose to be the change you want to see in your work environment and commit to taking steps to change a little piece of you, your attitude, your environment and your relationships every day or you can continue to sit there and be miserable. No one, nor anything thing, can make you miserable without you first allowing it. You have to give the power of permission over to someone or something first in order to do that. SO DON'T!

You have a choice. You can be the change you want to see in others by setting the example or you can choose to leave. Don't give me that b.s. about jobs are hard to find and blah blah blah. Nothing is hard if you put your mind to it. That includes playing an active role in reversing the affects of workplace tension.

I feel like Clint Eastwood needs to pop up and say something like "Well punk, you gonna try? Well are you?" If you won't do it for yourself, do it for Fido!!!

If you are really facing some challenges in your work environment and need more direct and focused help or advice, feel free to contact me directly and let's chat. My email is steve AT Ripplecentral dot com. (Sorry to do the type out version but these SPAM BOTS are attacking BLOGGER now and it's better to be safe than sorry."

Ripple On and Don't Continue To Ignore The Workplace Tension! Fido thanks you!

Steve