Cut Ties, Filter and Keep Building
Many people like to gather everyone's opinion so that they can feel more comfortable about the decisions they make. I think this is normal and many of us do it, myself included. However, you have to be careful of soliciting too many opinions and of course making sure those opinions are from people who ultimately have your best interest at heart.
Recently, I made a conscious decision on a business direction I have decided to go for in 2006. It involves a fair amount of risk and a whole of lot gumption and will require a significant amount of support from those that I know. The problem? It is a completely new strategy and I believe cutting edge and nay sayers are out in force.
I have literally been blown over by the amount of negativity that some of these folks have showed me. It's not that my idea is a bad one, even they will admit to that, but its as if someone put up the little scrolling line on CNN calling everyone to action. I think it goes something like this....Great Idea just announced...must poo poo it. Nay sayers man your stations!
Honestly I am not bitter and to be fair, I had solicited many of these people's opinions early on. I am just surprised how negative they became when I decided once and for all I wanted to move forward. I really think its almost laughable at least in my case but I wonder how many people take the comments, the belittling and negativity to heart. How many people let the negative nay sayers squash a perfectly good opportunity or dream?
Don't misunderstand me, I think everyone is entitled to their opinion. However, some people love to pour on a negative opinion when they get the chance and that's really unfortunate. So what do I suggest you do about it? Well...good question.
1. Take a look at the people that you enlist for advice and opinions. Do you they honestly support you and provide you support when you need them. If they seemingly shoot holes in everything (even the ideas you know that are great), cut them loose. Just don't ask them.
2. Use filters. You know what they say about opinions...They are sort of like waste depositors...everyone has one. That said, even some people that aren't necessarily qualified as nay-sayer material but lean way close to negative often have a point of view worth considering. Take the little bits from all of the advice and opinions and weigh that against what you are already know. Filter the good things and deposit or outright ignore the bad. I have had to get really good at filtering some of what I let get through these two misshaped ears of mine but when I did, life got a whole lot easier.
3.
(but don't just tell you what you want to hear) and put them to the test. Some will pass and some will fail but continually adding to your knowledge and resource network can only stand to benefit you. Especially in times of major frustration, change or eleventh hour decision making.
No matter what you do, remember, no one can replace your ability to think for yourself. At the end of the day you are your own worst critic AND supporter!!!
Ripple On My Friends!!!
3 comments:
Steve,
With an idea, the only critical opinion is your own. An entrepreneur is often the one person who sees something different. As you know, difference can cause people to react in non-positive and non-helpful ways. Just keep going especially if you feel you have a great idea. Just remember that every great idea in every era was opposed by some of the people.
Here are some quotes that might be inspirational:
Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great. -- Mark Twain
According to aerodynamic laws, the bumblebee cannot fly. Its body weight is not the right proportion to its wingspan. Ignoring these laws, the bee flies anyway. -- M. Sainte-Lague
And finally, in the words of Thoreau:
"Walk confidently in the direction of your dreams."
Matt P
Matt quotes the famous:
According to aerodynamic laws, the bumblebee cannot fly. Its body weight is not the right proportion to its wingspan. Ignoring these laws, the bee flies anyway.
-- M. Sainte-Lague
Of course, as we well know, the conclusion is wrong. But why?
When critiquing any idea there are two distinct things that must be considered:
1) What are the assumptions? and
2) What is the reasoning involved?
[In the bumblebee example, the fallacy had to do with an assumption: A rigid wing was assumed, but bumblebees' wings are not rigid.]
Naturally, any criticism that falls outside of the above can be safely ignored. Criticisms of either assumptions or reasoning are inherently valuable. They force you to hone the idea -- what could be better?
Without sound assumptions and sound reasoning, your only avenue to success is luck. Make sure that you can tell the difference between reactions to the idea and reactions to you.
Steve-
You are very right. People love to tear others down to keep them from excelling.
I have heard that you can store lobsters in a shallow sided box, because any time on lobster tries to crawl out, another will grab it with a claw and pull it back into the box.
Don't let the lobsters get you down.
Besides, when you succeed it is fun to just smile.
Knock em dead.
thom
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