Don't Just Sit On The Virtual Sidelines When It Comes To Helping

I first noticed a request from someone I follow but don't know all that well when she posted it on Twitter. It seems she was looking for a very specific set of skills for a project she was working on for her company and had apparently run the gamut of her connections. I clicked on her most recent Tweets and could see a string of frustrated posts about dropped balls, unreliable people and a pressing deadline that was looming. With each Tweet her desperate plight seemed to be more and more magnified as she desperately looked for someone to help her out.

It would have been easy to say to myself...Whew I'm glad that's not me. I've been there sister and man finding good people to do the jobs they say they will can be frustrating. Hmmm I wonder what's going on with my other friends on Twitter and proceed to click away from her and her problems never to think of them again.

It was clear by her cries for help that few if any of her 300+ followers on Twitter were doing anything to really help her. In fact the responses I read ranged anywhere from "man that sucks!" to "you're screwed" to "at least it's Friday...the good news is you won't have to worry about this until Monday." Yeah like I'm that was the reassurance she was looking for...NOT!

Have we as a society become so disengaged that mere connection through online social networking tools like Twitter and Facebook give us permission to poke fun and be sarcastic about someone's problem? It sure seems like it. What spoke even louder was the fact that she only received a handful of tepid responses to her pleas for help. Where were the people who followed her and why wasn't someone offering her more than sarcastic commentary to help her?

To be clear I don't know this women well. In fact I only started following her because she had followed me. Even though we have never met personally I have enjoyed exchanging some Tweets with her over the past few months. She's always been responsive, helpful and friendly when we have engaged one another online. I like her and clearly I could see and feel her pain.

As luck would have it I knew exactly the person she needed to engage regarding her project. I immediately direct messaged (DM'd her for those Twitter purists) her and asked her permission to connect her and my colleague for an exploratory conversation. She pinged me back almost immediately with a "OMG YES! THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU!"

I didn't need to help though but it's my nature to be helpful when and where I can. I could have come up with my own quippy response to her plight to outwit the clearly dimwitted but that wouldn't help her (and then I would have joined the rank of the woefully dimwitted). I might have easily missed the Tweet she posted as there is literally so much noise on Twitter that it's easy to do. I happen to believe things work out the way they are supposed to - hence it was in the cards that day for me to see what was going on and decide to dig deeper and help if I could. There were a lot of ways this situation could have gone down but it worked out for her and my colleague to work together in the end.

The point in all of this...and I do have one by the way is....If you are going to spend time making friends online, developing virtual connections and engaging strangers from around the world, you have a responsibility. You just can't passively sit on the virtual sidelines when someone is in need; much less make fun of them or their situation. You are responsible for keeping your eyes and ears peeled to help them when and where you can. You have to be willing to put yourself out there to offer up suggestions, ideas and your own connections if you truly want to make and grow your online relationships beyond simple avatars and cute profile pictures.

Just because the people in your followers or friends list are virtual it does not mean your commitment and dedication to Rippling when and where you can for them doesn't have to be.

Think about it and as always....

Ripple On!!!

How Guys Relate On A Friday Night

It's Friday and yes I am in one of those moods. Time to have a little fun. Hope you won't mind.

I won't deny that my book, The Ripple Effect, has done exceptionally well in the female demographic. In fact, the ratio of women to men who have purchased the book is easily 4 to 1.

Women get it. Women understand how important building and strengthening relationships is to their personal and professional lives. Women appreciate the intricate nature of having a strategy to finding and nurturing connection points. Guys on the other hand.....well....

It's not that men don't get these things. It's just different. Usually if we can't fish it, hunt it or kill it with a bat, and grunt about it afterwards while we share a frosty cold one, then something is wrong.

No with guys it's often totally different. Guys don't build relationships, they bond...beer is usually a requirement. Guys don't nurture but we will say "COOL!" when one of us bleeds. We won't notice what label another guy is wearing because, well that would just be plain weird. Guys don't care what their hair looks like around the other guys. But again, if you lose some hair in huge clumps during some "grand plan" that mysteriously goes awry, again we will say "awesome!" Again, beer or some alcoholic stimulant is usually a must have.

So I received a call from a buddy this past week which illustrates my point.

"Hey Harper, what's up?" (Men speak for how are you) "You know how you are always talking about that relationship building stuff," he asked sternly. (you mean what I do for a living, umm yes?) "We were all thinking we should be doing some of that." (impressive) "But only our way!" (uh oh...but I am in!) We killed some stuff and found a place "way out" to have a big 'ol fire." (dead animals over an open pit in the middle of some field somewhere...I am absolutely in!) "We can get some big coolers and throw a 'buncha' beer on ice, pig out and swap some stories." (heaven party of one!)

I will go out on a limb her ladies and tell you that stories aren't about our lives or what makes us tick. They usually revolve around who could beat who in a fist fight or what we would do if we met a Dallas Cowboy cheerleader. Or how we all could have dated Cindy Crawford and/or once knew Eva Longoria. It will always cover some element of sports and no matter how the conversation goes, it will inevitably be followed by some rude, crude and socially unacceptable behavior. Hence why I think these things happen in a "field" far, far way from anyone who could take pictures or retell a story come Monday.

Yep guys relate differently alright. But we do relate in the end.

What can I say, it's Friday, the weather has turned a bit chilly here and some good old Texas BBQ (just hope it isn't Possum and Armadillo), beer and b.s.'ing with the boys under the stars sounds like a perfect way to spend a Friday night.

Enjoy your weekend my friends and as always....

Ripple On!!!

Steve

Five Dollar Impact

The other day I found myself with a five dollar bill that turned up unexpectedly in one of my suit pockets. It was a little worn, a little dry cleaned but spendable none-the-less. I don't know about you but finding "free" money like that is always exhilarating as ideas of how to spend the unexpected bounty tend to flood my brain.

Hmmm beer. True five bucks only gets me one beer...but hmmm beer none-the-less.

I could go buy one of those super complicated fancysmancy drinks from....where else...Starbucks. Perhaps, but I get too nervous ordering anything other than the regular Grande Black four sugars and I usually screw up saying that in uber cool Starbucks-speak.

I could run over to Wendy's and buy four Junior Bacon Burgers. But then what might have happen to my finely chiseled machine I have been working so hard on as of late. Well, chiseled is a matter of opinion but it's my fantasy so hush up!

I could rent one really "old" movie from Blockbuster. Can anyone say boring!

Or I could go to the dollar movie and have just enough left over for a small popcorn...no drink. There has to be a super blockbuster I didn't see that has made it to the smallest most uncomfortable theater known to man right?

I could pay Zach his allowance for feeding the dog and picking up dog "presents." But hey he hasn't asked for this week's payment so why spoil a good thing.

All the choices. All the possibilities.

But as I contemplated what to do with my new found fortune I realized there wasn't anything that I wanted or needed. Not one thing that jumped out and screamed spend here! So I resigned to the fact the five dollars would likely get shoved back in my super secret compartment of my wallet to be reluctantly spent at the snack bar at the soccer game or thrown in the next time I met my pals for drinks. What a waste.

That's when it hit me. This five dollars doest not have my name on it...no sir, it has someone else's name on it.

I sat down and thought long and hard about who would be blown away by an unexpected bounty of five dollars. My brain was a tizzy with all the possibilities and I actually had fun imagining each individual smiling and laughing when they received an unexpected gift of five bucks "just because" from the Ripple Man.

Then as quickly as the images came they left, like water rushing to leave a drain, leaving only one person's face in my mind's eye. A casual business associate that has been working very hard on a startup venture and has been literally out of sight for months. I pulled up her contact information and got to work. In my note, I simply said:

"Even the greatest of genius must come up for daylight every now and then. Take this as your ticket to a piping hot cup of coffee and a few minutes of "me" time. Enjoy!"

Well you can imagine the reaction I received from this person. Overwhelmed and appreciative of the unexpected gesture would be an understatement. It was a Ripple that I was proud to create on her behalf and was a sound investment of five bucks if you ask me!

Do you have an extra couple of bucks floating around your wallet or purse right now that could make an impact on someone's day? Tell me, would you rather spend that on yourself or would you rather invest it in the relationship of someone you really want to get to know, or get to know better. I bet you, like me, will find the payoff by investing it in someone else is far more significant and rewarding.

Hope you will give it a try and come back and share your story.

Ripple On!!!

Steve

Show You Care

Do you have people in your life that you would really like to know better? Perhaps it's a co-worker or employee or simply an acquaintance that has the potential to become a friend of professional colleague. What can you do to kick start the relationship building process?

Show you care?

Show you have interest in learning more about them. In fact there is no harm in saying exactly that to them!

"You know Sue we have worked together for two months and I realized that I don't really know anything about you outside of work. Why don't we go to lunch one day when you are free?"

"Mike I was really glad to meet you at the Chamber luncheon a few months ago. Let's get together over a beer and get to know one another one of these days."

"Susie I am so glad you came to work here. You really brighten up the place when you walk in the door. I obviously need to learn how to do that, do you have time for coffee later this week?"

"Chris you and I have seen each other at numerous business functions and I really want to get to know more about you and your business."

No matter how you ask it just ask it. Show people you care enough to want to invest the time in getting to know them and watch what happens. People are so used to other people not taking that additional step that I can honestly say they will be pleasantly shocked and impressed when you step outside the box to make an attempt to really connect.

Why not give it a try today. Who do you know in your office or in your network that you would really like to know better? Stop reading this BLOG and pick up the phone, walk down the hall or fire off a quick email. Show you care enough to take that first step. It might just prove to be a first step in a brand new adventure.

Ripple On!!!

Steve