Lessons Learned From a Funeral

Choking back tears, his words filled with raw emotion, my friend spoke about his dad. It was one of those powerful moments that I know I will remember for the rest of my life. With my heart in my throat and my eyes welling up with tears, I listened, I learned and I found inspiration where I least expected to find it.

Eric talked about how everything he had learned in life he had learned from his dad. He confessed it was his father that taught him how to love, really love. He shared a story about Eli, Eric's year and half old son and Grandpa's greatest joy. Eric said, "Dad was still teaching me up until a few days ago. Though he couldn't speak he could continue to write. He wrote, I love Eli. Not because he is my blood and I have to. No, I love Eli, because Eli loves me."

It was a simple statement but one of the most profound lessons I have ever been taught. It just takes love and nothing else matters.

As evidenced by the various stories and conversations I heard about Eric's dad Leo, he was without a doubt a lover of people. A good friend of mine who knew Leo personally told me that every time he was in the office where Leo worked he was always there with a warm greeting, big smile and a story. He was a man that no doubt effected a lot of people not because he had to, but because he could.

That loving spirit is something that many of us forget to have in the hustle and bustle of our daily lives. Why? Clearly it doesn't take any more time or require that much more effort to give it. It just takes opening your heart a little wider to others and in return they just might open theirs to you. Leo was clearly proof of that.

Ripple On My Friends!!!

Just Being There

This morning I will attend the funeral of a good friend and colleague's father who passed away this past Sunday morning. Knowing what his father meant to my friend Eric makes the untimely passing all that more difficult for him I know. I know his heart is breaking and I can only imagine the void that is left in his absence.

I grapple with thinking about what it might mean to me not to be able to pick up the phone and call my own dad. He is without a doubt my best friend. Alzheimer's has robbed my mom from the ability to know me when I come home and undoubtedly she has no idea who the voice is on the other end of the phone line when I call. For me, I have grown accustomed to the hurt that her absence has caused me and I sense Dad knows this so he more than tries to make up for it when we talk. In some ways mom's disease has brought Dad and I closer together in so many ways.

As my parents grow older its hard not to imagine what it will inevitably be like to not have them there. My heart races just thinking about it. I know when my wife's father passed away it left me numb and in shock because it was just wasn't so supposed to happen like that. I still expect to see Ray sitting in his chair reading his paper and sipping his coffee when we go to her parent's house for the holidays. I guess that missing him will never go away. Boy how I wish we could play guitars one more time.

I can't imagine the pain that Eric must be going through right now but I know somehow some way that having his friends and family gathered around him today will somehow warm his hurting heart. That's all we can really do at a time like this - just be there when we are needed the most.

Tomorrow my dad comes into town for a visit. That generally equates to a lot of exotic beer drinking and a whole lot of fishing. Somehow I think this visit will be different - more important than ever to me. I expect I will make sure he knows just a little bit more how much he means to me and that I cherish these stolen moments with him. I will enjoy every minute of his visit and enjoy just being there with him.

You can rest assured I will be giving him a great big hug and holding onto him just a little longer than normal and making sure my old man knows his boy sure loves him.

Ripple On My Friends!!!

Love What You Do

On Friday I spoke to the Intergovernmental Training Council for the State of Texas. The opportunity, not so ironically, came to me because of a connection I had made through the Ripple several years ago. My colleague and friend Gordon Leeks has been a big fan of the Ripple concept and when the opportunity arose he suggested to the council that I would be a good presenter for them. An endorsement that I appreciate more than he could possibly know.

I will admit I was a little nervous going into Friday. Whenever you find yourself speaking to an audience of people who do what you do, it can be a little nerve-racking. As I drove there that morning I had this incredible internal dialogue with myself as I tried to calm my nerves a bit. Though I get nervous almost anytime I speak, I challenged myself to rise about my nervousness and not worry about impressing them. I reminded myself to forget doing my presentation like I would expect they would expect it to be done; I wasn't there to do their presentation, only mine. I had to be myself and not be intimidated by their years of experience and their potential reaction to a concept that might seem at first a bit foreign to them.

After all, they don't know the power of the Ripple - I do.

The presentation went smooth as butter. I hit all of my high points and managed to take them through the roller coaster of emotions that my presentations are designed to evoke. The cogs were turning and I could see that my presentation had not only been successful...it had been a hit. I was thrilled and as I walked "off stage" I smiled to myself and thought that's the way to do it Harper!

As I packed up my stuff to leave one of the women in the group came up to me and paid me one of the neatest compliments I have ever been paid. She said, "In all my years of going to trainings and presentations, I have never seen anyone with as much passion and enthusiasm as you have. I thoroughly enjoyed what you had to say and I actually learned something that I am anxious to apply. Thank you." She shook my hand and gave me a wink. Wow! How cool is that?

I love presenting on the Ripple. I don't care what kind of audience, group or company it is. I know somewhere somehow the message that I give can and will make an impact on someone. Because I love what I do it becomes that much easier to overcome any self-doubt or nervousness that might otherwise try and derail me from my message. I know that without a doubt I was born to do what I am doing right here, right now.

What about you? Do you love what you do? Do you get an opportunity to be passionate about the work that you do? If not please, please take a hard look at that. Don't waste time on something that isn't you...something you can't put 100% of yourself into. It's an overused saying but life really is too short!

Take the chance. Find your passion. Do what you love. The world will rise up to meet you if you do.

Trust me. If I can do what I love you can too.

Ripple On!!!