I saw a story about Dick and Rick Hoyt last year on HBO's Real Sports. It is such an inspirational story that I won't do it an injustice with my words. Just watch these two videos and see how inspiring this father and son are. It's incredible.
Ripple On!!!
Do you jump to conclusions without knowing all of the facts? Are your assumptions making you do and say things that they really shouldn't? Does your own lack of self-confidence skew your way of thinking? Are you screwing up a good thing because your answer is yes to all of the above?
I have just had a healthy dose of my own reality on this front. I am not perfect nor have I ever claimed to be. I get a lot of credit for helping a lot of people through difficult times in their lives and careers and always having the right answers and the spot on advice when the chips are down. You would think that I would be able to apply some of that skill to my own life but again, I am not perfect and boy don't I know it!
The situation is not important nor are the circumstances that lead up to and beyond what made me do what I did. All I can say is it happened and that my moment(s) of weakness lead me to jump to conclusions and make assumptions that I never should have had, nor made. It was through this callious process that my conclusions led me to hurt a person that is very dear to me. Because I was engaging my overactive imagination and not my heart, I said and did some things that could have had the potential to cause permanent damage to this person's trust in me.
When we are faced with situations like these there are only two paths we can follow. The first path is to protect our ego and pride and somehow within our own mind justify the actions we take and the words we use. The damage that is done when choosing this path can often be unrepairable. The second path is to use three of the most powerful words and mean them....I am sorry. Though the words themselves mean very little, it's the actions we take to support them and to insure that the other party understands and appreciates the fact that they are sincerely and heartfully meant that makes all the difference in the world.
It was my wife that showed me the error of my ways and my thinking. As with most things in my life, I owe her an incalculable debt of gratitude for reminding me that being incongruent with the man I am wanting to become does not work for me. She also reminds me that no matter how bad the situation may appear the only way to get to the bottom of it is to talk to the other person about it and not let conclusions or assumptions get the better of me.
Kathy (AKA Mrs. Ripple) thank you for helping me through this and helping me to see how petty and ridiculous I was being. Thanks to you it's time I get to work on rebuilding the foundation of trust that I have cracked but hopefully not completely broken.
So my fine Ripple friends - don't let conclusions and assumptions control you. I know it's easier said than done but it is so important. Like with me, my assumptions and conclusions left unchecked would have cost me the most important relationship I have ever had. That would have been just such a waste!
Ripple On!!!
Is your but holding you back?
Is your but so big that it won't let you accomplish what you need and want to accomplish?
Is your but forcing you to sit on the sidelines while others are out there playing in the game of life?
Does your but make your excuses look big?
Here's a word of advice......
Nothing good comes from a but. Nothing!
Simply put....
Buts stink!
Buts make us look lame.
Buts by and large try and dominate the head.
Buts are notorious for overriding the heart.
Buts are the reason things don't get accomplished.
Buts keep many of us from taking that leap of faith.
Buts, by design, keep us down.
Buts can suck the will out of the most well intended person.
Big buts - little buts no matter...a but is a but. Whenever you find one you will find a horrible trail of excuses as to why something can't be done or why this or that can't be accomplished. We've all experienced the stench of the "but" excuse and its one of the most vile we can encounter. For many of us they come out of no where and attack without provocation. There is no doubt the but is a dangerous and callous preventer of goodness.
So why do we use our but so often? Because on the surface it makes it okay to give up or to never try. A but wants your attention squarely focused on the alternative of why something can't happen. It loves to be used conveniently as a the scape goat and actually smiles (vertically or horizontally take your pick) each time it wins and beats down your confidence.
However, (but's dreaded good looking cousin of a word) there is hope. Buts are powerless when you simply fail to use them. That's right...remove the word but from your vocabulary and the convenient excuse sentences that usually follow simply cease to exist. The but and its gang of wordy excuses simply disappear.
Quit giving your but ultimate power and suddenly your excuses drop off and things start to get accomplished.
No ifs ands or buts about it!
Ripple On!!!
His little hands grasped my cheeks as he pulled me closer. "Thank you Daddy! You are the best Daddy in the whole wide world." His lips puckered up signaling it was time for a smooch and I gave him one. With his eyes sparkling and a smile that simply melts my heart every time he uses it, he gave me one of his Super Man hugs, jumped down and he was off in a flash. That was Josh's way of saying thank you for a weekend of birthday fun that was more thanks to his Mom than me (she made the amazing cake pictured).
Josh turn five this past Friday. My little man is growing up too fast. It seems like just yesterday I was trying to get my head around having another child and wondering if it would be possible to love another as much as I loved Zachary. Of course what I found is the heart has an amazing ability to grow big enough to accommodate any amount of love you wish to store in it. So making room for him in there wasn't a problem!
Man where have five years gone? I find myself watching both boys with such wonder and amazement me these days. I look at them and wonder how Kathy and I ever managed to create such incredible creatures. I thank God every day (well I sometimes forget but I have a standing order in with the big guy so He knows) for bringing these boys into my life. They are my greatest teachers as well as my biggest fans and I know that with them, I am the luckiest man in the world. And I am grateful for that.
We spent this past weekend celebrating Josh's birthday in what seemed like a drawn out party that lasted for three days. I found myself enjoying the time with the family more than I ever have as we ate out, went bowling (twice!), played some video games, went biking and just hung out. It was a perfect weekend and one that words can't adequately express but was no doubt chalked full of great memories. Especially the one that I mentioned at the beginning of this post.
Those little hands won't always be little forever. That adoring smile won't always be pointed at me. The Super Hero cape and status that I wear in the little guy's eyes won't always be as cool as it is today. And of course those precious little hugs and belly laughs won't always be there....
But I don't live for the always - I live for the now.
And for now, I want to soak it all up while I can.
Ripple On!!!
