Thursday, June 26, 2008

Jumping to Conclusions

Do you jump to conclusions without knowing all of the facts? Are your assumptions making you do and say things that they really shouldn't? Does your own lack of self-confidence skew your way of thinking? Are you screwing up a good thing because your answer is yes to all of the above?

I have just had a healthy dose of my own reality on this front. I am not perfect nor have I ever claimed to be. I get a lot of credit for helping a lot of people through difficult times in their lives and careers and always having the right answers and the spot on advice when the chips are down. You would think that I would be able to apply some of that skill to my own life but again, I am not perfect and boy don't I know it!

The situation is not important nor are the circumstances that lead up to and beyond what made me do what I did. All I can say is it happened and that my moment(s) of weakness lead me to jump to conclusions and make assumptions that I never should have had, nor made. It was through this callious process that my conclusions led me to hurt a person that is very dear to me. Because I was engaging my overactive imagination and not my heart, I said and did some things that could have had the potential to cause permanent damage to this person's trust in me.

When we are faced with situations like these there are only two paths we can follow. The first path is to protect our ego and pride and somehow within our own mind justify the actions we take and the words we use. The damage that is done when choosing this path can often be unrepairable. The second path is to use three of the most powerful words and mean them....I am sorry. Though the words themselves mean very little, it's the actions we take to support them and to insure that the other party understands and appreciates the fact that they are sincerely and heartfully meant that makes all the difference in the world.

It was my wife that showed me the error of my ways and my thinking. As with most things in my life, I owe her an incalculable debt of gratitude for reminding me that being incongruent with the man I am wanting to become does not work for me. She also reminds me that no matter how bad the situation may appear the only way to get to the bottom of it is to talk to the other person about it and not let conclusions or assumptions get the better of me.

Kathy (AKA Mrs. Ripple) thank you for helping me through this and helping me to see how petty and ridiculous I was being. Thanks to you it's time I get to work on rebuilding the foundation of trust that I have cracked but hopefully not completely broken.

So my fine Ripple friends - don't let conclusions and assumptions control you. I know it's easier said than done but it is so important. Like with me, my assumptions and conclusions left unchecked would have cost me the most important relationship I have ever had. That would have been just such a waste!

Ripple On!!!


Arlin K. Pauler said...

It doesn't get more real than this. I trust you know how powerful your authenticity is here. While this is truly a few words worth a thousand pictures, it is your soul that makes them poignant.
Your friend and colleague, Arlin

Anonymous said...

Thank you for sharing this personal triumph with us Steve. You continue to amaze your readers with your insight, wisdom and humility.

Tracey G.