Shortcut The Connection

So if you are a regular reader of my BLOG you know that I often post different Ripple Connection Questions that we use throughout my public and private 8 Minute Ripple events. These connection questions are designed to help people engage and connect quicker and with a more positive result than what one might expect. I personally believe the questions, when used appropriately, help shortcut the connection and relationship building process and open up a world of current and future dialogue jumping off points.

Let's face it in today's society we aren't very good at communicating. Sure we meet people, we talk to them, we exchange pleasantries but at the end of the day how much do we really learn or know about them? For most people, especially in at a networking or social event, the depth of knowledge that they learn from the people they meet rarely goes beyond what the other person does for a living or who they work for. I call that surface information and surface information nets very little relevant or substantive insight. Plus let's face it....it's often boring and uninteresting information when you come right down to it.

So why do it?

Well, for most people it's the only way we know. It's our default strategy to ask someone what they do or where they work just to have something, anything to say. We push and we prod about surface subjects and wonder why we aren't making the kinds of connections we really want or need in our lives or careers.

People cross you path in life for a reason. It's up to you to figure out why. Ripple Connection Questions or heck, just any insightful question, that helps you cut through the surface layer of someone to learn something, anything meaningful has to be better. Doesn't it? Don't answer that question because you already deep down inside know the answer.

There is an old saying that people do business with people they know, like and trust. Well whether you are pushing a sales quota, building a business or looking for your next job, that saying has meaning for us all. The kinds of connections we make are dependent on our ability to make them the most that they can and are intended to be. I would submit that in order to do that, you have to gain some better insight into the people you are meeting and make your interactions relevant.

Very little or dare I say it....no relevance comes from surface connections. So quit making them.

Dig deeper.

Ask better, more insightful questions.

Don't let opportunities pass you by.

Don't make that one interaction your only interaction. Call them following an event - ask them to lunch or out for coffee. Do something to keep the momentum going and keep exploring, learning and connecting.

Enjoy the process of connecting and people will enjoy connecting with you.

Ripple On!!!

How To Dance In The Rain

My good friend Lisa Grinstead sent this to me because she knows how much I admire my dad for taking such amazing care of my mom who is suffering with Alzheimer's Disease.

Thank you Lisa for sending this to me, it is appreciated beyond what words could adequately express.

How to Dance in the Rain

It was a busy morning, about 8:30, when an elderly gentleman in his 80's arrived to have stitches removed from his thumb. He said he was in a hurry as he had an appointment at 9:00 am.

I took his vital signs and had him take a seat, knowing it would be over an hour before someone would be able to see him. I saw him looking at his watch and decided, since I was not busy with another patient, I would evaluate his wound. On exam, it was well healed, so I talked to one of the doctors, got the needed supplies to remove his sutures and redress his wound.

While taking care of his wound, I asked him if he had another doctor's appointment this morning, as he was in such a hurry.

The gentleman told me no, that he needed to go to the nursing home to eat breakfast with his wife. I inquired as to her health.

He told me that she had been there for a while and that she was a victim of Alzheimer's Disease.

As we talked, I asked if she would be upset if he was a bit late.

He replied that she no longer knew who he was, that she had not recognized him in five years now.

I was surprised, and asked him, 'And you still go every morning, even though she doesn't know who you are?'

He smiled as he patted my hand and said, 'She doesn't know me, but I still know who she is.'

I had to hold back tears as he left, I had goose bumps on my arm, and thought, 'That is the kind of love I want in my life.'

True love is neither physical, nor romantic. True love is an acceptance of all that is, has been, will be, and will not be.

With all the jokes and fun that are in E-Mails, sometimes there is one that comes along that has an important message. This one I thought I could share with you.

The happiest people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the best of everything they have.

I hope you share this with someone you care about. I just did.

'Life isn't about how to survive the storm, but how to dance in the rain.'

If It's Sunday, We'll Be Missing Tim Russert

Alex Wong / Getty Images

Friday afternoon I was wrapping things up in anticipation of the weekend when someone on Twitter first broke the news that Tim Russert had just died. I was at first hopeful that it was some sick joke but a quick jump over to one of the major news sites confirmed the shocking news. Tim Russert, moderator and steward of America's political information was gone. With him he took that jolly smile, sharp-witted tongue and his love for this country and it's political process leaving a void that won't soon be filled.

I spent a great deal of time on Saturday and Sunday watching tributes to Tim and found myself riveted by the stories that were told by his friends and colleagues. From the erasable board that he made so famous during the election night coverage of 2000, to his love of his favorite singer, and mine, Bruce Springsteen. I learned things about Tim that a thirty minute broadcast never revealed to me. I found myself laughing and crying all at the same time. I was mourning a friend who in the grand scheme of things surely wasn't, but somehow oddly was.

Zachary asked me yesterday morning why a guy who I never met could make me so sad and happy all at once. I didn't have a straight answer for him. It is too hard to explain the unique devotion we find ourselves holding for those who want us to know more, to be better informed and get interested and involved in our own lives. Tim Russert somehow oddly did that for me and until this past weekend, I never really understood nor appreciated him for that. I think that made me the most sad.

Yesterday as I watched Meet The Press I found myself thinking how cool it was that Tom Brokaw, Mary Matalin, James Carville and the other guests had come to admire Tim and wanted to pay a very public, yet still very emotionally raw tribute to him. His desk and moderator chair appropriately left open with just a subtle, but noticeable, spotlight where Tim once sat. He was, as Tom Brokaw mentioned, our sentry of information. The respect and true loss of a good friend was evident in each of them.

All weekend long I kept thinking to myself that Tim Russert must have felt pretty amazing with such a long and distinguished list of people he called friend. The various interviews and incredibly insightful snipets that people shared showed a man with a thirst for life, a passion for his job and a love for his son and wife that was unparalleled. The amount of respect that was shown by competing news organizations as they in their own special way paid tribute to their colleague and friend, was both inspirational and a true testament to the kind of man Tim was.

We could only be so lucky when our time comes to have our friends, our colleagues our competitors say such incredible things about our own lives. It gives me something to shoot for....what about you?

So I say, thank you Tim Russert. Thank you for inspiring me to want to be a better friend, a better colleague, a better son, a better father and a better husband. Thank you for helping me learn to appreciate and understand the importance of my role as a citizen and that keeping and staying informed is both a right and privilege.

And you are right....."what a country!"

A country that will no doubt miss you.

God's speed my friend.

Ripple On!!!