Loose Lips Sink Ships

So there I was sitting at my favorite coffee spot, immersed in my laptop and enjoying a dark roast brew of some unknown origin. I briefly looked up from my furious pounding of the keys to notice a young 40 something walk in with brazen glory and purposed resolve. I am not sure what made me notice him right off. It might have been the brash way he cut ahead of a lady heading through the door before him or the arrogant snarl he displayed as he surveyed the other patrons. Me among them. But I think it was the curt way he ordered his drink. Like a high powered Wall Street executive he barked the multiple ingredient, half-calf, double dip, shake it but do not stir, whiz bang jolt of coffee delight and stood there as if he was waiting for the spot light to shine only on him. I smiled to myself as I generally do when watching the life of a horse's ass pass by.

To my amazement he sat down at the table next to me. Now for those of my readers that are fully expecting me to say at this point, never pre-judge (as I profess in my BLOG and in my BOOK ) and that I took this great opportunity to jump in with gusto and make a new connection...this time my friends, you would be wrong. No, I had nothing to say to this suit.

Trying as I could to stay focused and resume working on my task at hand, I found myself distracted. There was a tapping. It was soft at first and amongst the other chatter and noise of the coffee shop, hardly noticeable. But then it got louder. I looked around and couldn't at first find the source of the now increasingly annoying tapping. Then I spotted it, it was HIM. His Bostonian shoes were just a tapping and he had to throw a head shaking and very audible "hmmph" in for good measure. Then it happened, "Jesus, how long does it take a flunky to make a simple cup of coffee" he said clearly so to be heard.

His grumbling and impatience now was noticed by more than just me. He seemed to glare at the woman making the multiple coffee orders as if the stares of intimidation might show that he was important and on a very tight schedule. He stood up (as if this would produce his coffee creation any faster) and started towards the pick up bar. Then he stopped dead in front of my table and said, "Why on Earth would you buy a tablet if you were going to use it as a laptop anyway?" Not waiting for an answer, he scoffed, "My personal assistant has one of those. That's a Motion isn't it? Waste of money if you ask me." No one had I might add. "Nothing beats a Dell," he said as he walked over to the bar where the Barista had just placed his coffee.

I figured Mr. Important would be on his way and that would be the last of him. But no, he came straight back over to the table beside me. I could see he was contemplating something witty to say when his cell phone rang. Whew....saved by the bell again!

"Yea, this is Chris ********" he spat.

Then he sat back down at the table next to me. For the next five minutes I attempted not to listen to his overly loud conversation but admit his arrogance and his annoying (loud) voice made it impossible. He apparently worked for a well known local company which shall remain nameless for the sake of my story. He was more than willing to drop the name throughout his conversation as if it were to impress me and others near by.

He was deep into the conversation with a colleague or someone about "Bill's" new promotion. For the next five minutes he droned on about Bill's lack of qualifications and that he was in fact a butt kisser of the Sales Director and the figurehead fossil CEO. He was a favorite and hence why he had landed the promotion in the first place. There was no doubt in his mind (the obvious genius that he is) that Bill was certainly unqualified to advance the ranks. From there, he launched into a sermon about the commensurate value of work versus what Bill was to be paid. As supporting argument for his plight, he gave a list of people within the company that had received special consideration and both the deficiencies of their work and their salaries.

I couldn't believe my ears! Right there in front of about 10 people, this guy was giving the rank and file of key people (and he was using first and last names) from within a major company here in Austin and was doing it with reckless regard. His arrogant style of sitting while casually sipping his coffee and bantering back and forth on a cell phone was beyond believable.

He finally hung up after explaining that he needed to go. He was running late he told his caller. He hung up and then proceeded to sit there. He looked over at me, as I am sure my face was aghast at what I had just witnessed and heard. He glanced at me and I shook my head and returned to my typing.

"What?" he asked. "Was I too loud?" he grumbled. I continued to ignore him.
"Yo Tablet boy! You don't have anything to say but you can shake your head," he barked.
"Oh me?" I cracked back with a smile.
"Yes, you. You obviously were listening to my PRIVATE phone conversation. You have something to say?"

It took every bit of effort to hold myself in reserve. I wanted to jump up out of my chair and beat the living daylights out this pompous you know what but I didn't. I simply bit my lip, smiled and asked, "Are you familiar with the old saying, 'loose lips sink ships'?"

He frowned and began to stand up.

"There is nothing PRIVATE about a cell phone especially when someone, like yourself is dumb enough to use it in a coffee shop or restaurant."
"What business is it of yours?" he snapped.
"It isn't really. I just think I am looking at someone whose ship is taking on water."
"Very funny," he arrogantly smiled.
"Oh I don't think it is funny at all," the people around us were now listening intently. "Especially when you never know who you are sitting next to or who they might know."
"What is that suppose to mean?" he cracked.
"Just that someone, like me, might just so happen to be friends with one of the people you mention. I am sure they would not look kindly of some arrogant, obviously dejected, wanna be executive spouting off at the mouth about confidential company information. You see CHRIS (put his name in for emphasis and conversation posture), its people like you that do stuff like you just did that make me hate coming to crowded coffee shops. You rob me of my oxygen, you give me a head ache and you do and say the stupidest of things without even a slight consideration for the consequences of your actions."

He melted right before my eyes. This high powered arrogant executive likely ten years my senior simply melted. He looked like that little kid that comes back in the big man's suit in that movie BIG with Tom Hanks. It was glorious.

I simply shook my head one more time and went back to typing. All eyes were on him. He looked like he had just gone ten rounds with Tyson and had gotten the beating of his life. I could see he wanted to ask me if I was going to tell as the reality of what he had done and the plight of his situation began to unfold. He couldn't bring himself to do it. He quietly grabbed his coffee cup and cell phone from the table and slinked out the door. Ahhh....the oxygen began to return.

I didn't know anyone he was talking about but I might have and that's my point! In all honesty, using the power of my network, I could likely be in touch with any or all of those names in a matter of hours. I didn't make the effort. Perhaps some how, some way, the lesson that our friend Chris had learned might serve him for the future. There is no doubt, every day since, he has likely walked into his office worried that Bill or a host of other people might confront him about his cell phone tirade. That is satisfaction enough for me.

I saw our friend Chris just the other day. He was as polite and friendly to the coffee shop staff as he could be. While waiting for his order, he picked up a copy of my book, which the coffee shop sells. He thumbed through it and bought it. He didn't ask me for an autograph though.

Ripple On Friends!!!