Kid Rules!

Do you remember when you were young looking up to your parents as they were super heroes? Anything and everything in your life revolved around getting their attention, their approval or just plain anything from them. At least it did for me. I realized fairly early on that with two (much) older sisters and brothers that I was sort of the odd man out. I was the little guy that constantly needed reinforcement that I mattered; that I was wanted and sometimes I think that proved difficult for my parents.

I remember feeling as if some times I was an only child. My brother and sisters have obviously way different opinions of this than I do but I can only share what I feel. My parents had me what I considered later in life, now just one year older than I am now, which now completely freaks me out! 35 (which I am soon to be) is not nearly as old as I thought it once was! I could see even at an early age that my siblings put them through the paces and often times at the end of the day, there was simply no reserve energy left to deal with me. For me, I believe I felt this and though it wasn't necessarily bad, it did force me to often times fend for myself; entertain myself.

I remember the feelings of my Dad being too busy with work to get out and toss the ball. That anticipation of going downstairs into his office and asking if he would throw the ball with me only to hear, "no, not right now, I am busy." I remember how that made me feel and how sad I often got. My siblings were off doing their thing and I can honestly say I never remember once throwing the football with my brother (until much later in life).

Yesterday I found myself doing the exact same thing with my son. He begged and begged all day to go outside and throw the football. I wasn't feeling great and kept pawning him off to go play with the little boys across the street. Mainly so I could have some down time and watch football. Pathetic excuse isn't it?

It wasn't until I was putting him to bed, after we had fought over something he had done that it hit me. He had acted angry all day because I wasn't there for him. I was wearing the excuse of "I am too busy" or "not now" like a mandatory necklace. It struck me that he was feeling like I had felt all those years ago and how it likely crushed his little heart like it had mine all those times when I couldn't just "hang" with dad.

He reached up and put both of his arms around me and gave me a kiss. He said, "Dad I know you love me at least as big as the planet, heck the universe! I just wish sometimes you and I could hang out. That's what best friends do."

Needless to say, I felt like absolute crap the rest of the night. That's what best friends do; those words rang in my head all night and over and over again until the sun rose this morning. For now, we are best friends and friends are supposed to cherish their time together. He won't always think of me as his best friend I know, and like me, he will test his good old dad as he gets older. Those tests get harder and often difficult to pass. These tests, here and now, are the ones I need to pass in order to have a chance of passing the more difficult ones down the line.

Take that time with your kids. Business and all the stress in the world won't make a mound of difference when those little hands aren't so little anymore.

Ripple On!

Footnote: I am so glad to still have my Dad as my best friend!