When Connecting Goes Awry

So there I sat, sipping my coffee and waiting for the person I was supposed to meet at 10AM. As my usual I had arrived fifteen minutes early to grab a table by the door and begin the appropriate flow of coffee intake. Caffeine is a must for me if you don't already know!

The coffee appointment had been arranged by a friend of mine who had insisted that I meet one of her good friends that was a big fan of my book. She said her friend had bugged her none stop about meeting "the author" until she finally relented and begged for me to set a time for us to meet. I was of course overjoyed to know that I had a fan of any sorts so it took little to no prompting on my friend's part to get me to agree. Besides on a normal business day I would have been at a coffee shop at the appointed time anyway working so meeting someone who was excited and inspired by little 'ol me would be a much appreciated treat.

My friend who fully expected to join us had notified me earlier in the morning that she would be unavoidably detained with a client. I was to be on my own with my apparent fan but not to worry she fully expected me to dazzle her with my sparkling personality and funny wit. The pressure now began to mount. Me funny? Hmm not so much. I know it wasn't my place to be nervous given the cirucumstances but my friend's absence none-the-less did that to me.

Her friend knew what I looked like and I was assured she would have no trouble spotting the Ripple Guy. I suspect it's the crooked nose but that's just a theory. So there I sat, sipping my coffee trying to look authorly (is that a word? Well if not, it is now). As 10AM approached I raised my head each time the door opened. Several different women came in none of which looked remotely like they were looking for anyone in particular, especially the Ripple Guy. With each new person my smile got a little bigger and my eyes a little brighter naturally assuming each woman walking in was my fan. Each time I received looks that registered somewhere between, boy that dude looks desperate to freak!

10:05 no one. 10:10 nada. 10:15 still no sign of my fan. I began to dig in my laptop bag for my phone to call my friend when a rather disheveled, heavily made up woman burst through the door. Without hesitation and nearly bowling over a small child she immediately proceeded to my table with a gusto and enthusiasm that would have intimidated a linebacker. I sheepishly stood and I said, "Sue? Nice to meet you I am Steve." She swung her big handbag around and in doing so knocked my coffee off the table narrowly missing my laptop bag. She thrust her hand out and plunged forward as she tried to say sorry and in the process kicked over a chair to which an awful racket reverberated throughout the shop. All eyes were now on us. Can you say awkward?

She sat down embarrassed and red faced and near tears. I panicked. I don't do well around women who cry (just ask my last assistant). I tried my best to smile but the past few seconds had my head spinning. This woman was clearly a mess. Then for just a brief moment I realized her nervousness and utter chaotic nature must have been the result of her anticipation of meeting me. Visions of meeting one of my heroes might have a similar affect on me. I smiled and told her it was okay and let me get her a cup of coffee. She barely spoke as I rose to head to the counter.

As I arrived back at the table she clearly had used my brief absence to collect her composure. I handed her her coffee and she apologized for being so late. She said she had so looked forward to this meeting for the past several weeks. Then like a buzz saw she began regaling a long story about losing her keys, almost hitting her dog, forgetting where the coffee shop was and then having an almost violent altercation with someone in the parking lot.

When I could get a word in edgewise I thanked her for her diligent pursuit of a meeting and for staying the course despite a plethora of apparent obstacles to her meeting. I asked her if there was anything specific that I could answer for her about The Ripple Effect and what in the end attracted her to the material. She looked marginally confused when I said The Ripple Effect but without missing a beat went into a laundry list of former jobs and why one job after another had not been a good fit for her self-described amazing personality. She kept referring to "the opportunity" as something that had caught her attention and had ultimately been her calling and thus she had to pursue it. I assumed, which I know, I know you should never do, that "the opportunity" she was referring to was the power of the Ripple and its affect on her ability to make connections.

Fifteen minutes went by where I tried to steer the conversation towards something of sustainable value that I could attach to the book, my theories or anything that would remotely be of value to her. The harder I tried the more she seemed to pitch me on why she was god's gift to an employer. I began to feel like she was treating this meeting like a job interview. She wasn't given the vibe of "hey Steve you are so awesome and I am such a fan and want your advice" but rather, "dude you should be digging on me and be my fan!"

Our strange conversation continued until I could take no more of her history and quite honestly her verbose boasting. I said, "Sue I am really confused how I can help you."

To which she responded, "Well clearly your company needs people like me." My company? At the time I was a one man band and in need of no one. As I was about to tell her that, she said, "You called me Sue earlier but my name is really Sandy. Please don't call me Sue." Then it hit me. This was not my Sue!

It hit her too. "Phil?" Hmm no. Then suddenly from a nearby table, Phil hesitantly raised his hand, winked at me (I swear he did) and said, "Over here." As if the last twenty minutes had not happened she picked her stuff up without even glancing my direction and switched tables. Knocking a chair over in the process.

To this day I have no idea whether Phil saw the walking disaster which was apparently supposed to be his interview and conveniently didn't get up when she blasted through that door. I have long suspected he got quite a kick out of watching this very unusual and highly entertaining scene go down before his very eyes. I know if I had not been squarely in the middle of it that I would have gotten quite a chuckle out of it, however it taught me a very valuable lesson about the power connecting. Know who you are meeting with before you sit down to talk!

As for the young woman who had so anxiously wanted to meet me. She had left a voice mail on my cell phone just minutes before we were supposed to meet. The school nurse had called and her son was sick. She wanted me to know how sorry she was and that she hoped we could connect at another time. We eventually did but this time I got a firsthand description of what she looked like beforehand!!!

Enjoy Your Weekend and as always....

Ripple On!!!

Social Media's Potential To Create A Bad Ripple For You - Part 2

Believe it or not the scene that I described in part 1 is happening more and more frequently and employers are beginning to take a much closer look at what their employees are doing out there in cyberspace. Now we could easily get into the debate on both sides of the aisle about whether employers have the right or if they are crossing a line they shouldn't into one's personal and unrelated lives but I choose not to. Let's save that debate for another day shall we?

In the case of the example I used in part 1, you had not posted those Twitter comments on your own personal time but did it while you were at work. If you want to split hairs about it you even used company property and company paid for Internet access to Tweet away. Cyberslacking alone is estimated to consume 2.09 hours of the average American's workday and cost companies billions of dollars of lost productivity. You don't think that is getting some strong attention by your boss? Think again. Whether you agree with it or not, the companies we work for have a vested interest in what we do out there on the web - both during work and now more directly what do after hours.

So how do you avoid getting yourself into a pickle and creating a potentially bad Ripple with your friends, family or employer when you use online social media? Keep these three simple but valuable rules in mind.

1. Take the Grandma Test - Before posting anything is that comment, that BLOG post, that picture or that website something you could feel comfortable showing your little 'ol grandma? If not, post not.

2. Evaluate Before You Propogate - What I mean is scrutinize whatever you are about to put out there on the web before you actually do it. Five years from now when you are sitting down for that dream job interview, meeting with the most important client of your life or starting that relationship with a possible soulmate, will what you put out there be something you will be just as proud of then as you are now? The Internet has a memory and like the elephant it has a funny way of not forgetting what you say and what you do.

3. Don't Ever Assume Your Audience Is Just Your Audience - Your quippy Twitter comments get batted around like a pinata at a kids birthday party and are seen by people you don't know. Your drunked exploits which seem funny as a picture on your Myspace profile likely don't seem so funny when your boss sees you wearing the company shirt at the bar. Your bashing of that same boss on your personal BLOG can and will be found - especially by those who wish to do your career harm. Come on we all have someone out there like that lurking - you know we do.

I've taken some chances out there on the web and I have learned some valuable lessons along the way. Fortunately the damage that I've done with a misplaced comment here or risque BLOG post there is something I have been able to recover from. The blow back fortunatley has never been fatal but it certainly could have been. I say why take the chance?

A personal friend of mine recently discovered that an email joke involving race that he had received and thought funny enough to pass on actually landed in the hands of an important client of his. Hmmm wonder why they won't give him the contract back.

Another close business associate of mine ranted about his boss on his personal BLOG that as it turns out isn't so private and personal. He's now looking for a job.

A former employee of mine who pontificated about the recreational use of drugs on a closed personal group found that to come back and bite him in the ass during an interview. The dude is likely smoking a doobie right now sitting in his underwear on his webcam wondering why the man is trying to keep him down!

A friend of a friend found a picture of his wife hanging out at a party with co-workers and an ex-flame on a mutual friend's Myspace page. The party wasn't the issue it was that she was supposed to be at dinner with an important client that night. Tagging and dating a picture hurts.

Social media opens up an incredible world of connection and interaction for us all. Proceed with caution and use your head before jumping in with both feet. The bells you ring today with your actions, words, deeds and pictures are often impossible to unring and can and will reverberate for a long time to come.

Be careful, play smart and use the three rules. They just may save you from creating a very bad and forever damaging Ripple for yourself.

Ripple On!!!


Special favor request!!!

If you found value in these two posts, please pass them on to your friends and family. If you know a young person in high school or college, I encourage you to pass this on to them as well. The up and coming generation of workers need this advice more than you could possibly imagine. Perhaps if they won't listen to you, maybe just maybe they might listen to the Ripple Guy!

Here's a link to Part 1: http://budurl.com/q3ku

Social Media's Potential To Create A Bad Ripple For You - Part 1

Here's the scene:

Your boss calls you into their office and asks you to have a seat. You immediately know something is wrong. She begins by telling you that something disturbing has been discovered about you on the Internet. She turns her monitor around to show you a listing of your Twitter entries over the past few months. It's like a greatest hits of your best personal observations and quirky remarks.

Sitting at my cubicle doing absolutely nothing. The dude in Office Space is my hero!

My boss just came in and gave us the flavor or the month rah rah speech. Whatever! So Lame!!!

Checking my Facebook and playing this new wordpath game - it so makes it look like I am working and my eight hours is flying by!

I believe that my boss did in fact fall off the turnip truck yesterday. Clearly she landed on her face to boot!

OMG I just found my friend's Facebook photos where I am tagged taking body shots Saturday night. Check it out.

You read through them and suddenly realize you are the only one smiling. Your boss looks at you, her eyes widen and an obscure frown line prominently begins to pouch from her forehead. No she is definiately not smiling.

Then it hits you....Holy crap, she does not find my witty sarcastic comments amusing. Then you realize that most of those Twitter posts were done during the workday. Your heart begins to pound as your mind races feverishly over the many, many questionable posts you made to your Twitter, Facebook and BLOG accounts. Panic sets in like rigamortus to what was once your promising career here at the company.

You wait for it, you hope for it but then it never comes. You know...that ding from the Southwest Airlines commercial that say Wanna Get Away?

Think this is an overblown, highly dramatized description of what might happen? Think again! Here is an example of just how connected this world is and how your very online actions may very well come back to bite you in the hind quarters.

http://budurl.com/j9fd

Social media can and will bite you if you aren't careful. Even if you think you are speaking to an audience of close friends and confidants the reality is that is seldom the case. It only takes one person to discover or forward your funny quip, joke or observation outside your intended core audience to launch a Ripple Effect of not so pleasant consequences. So why take the chance?

Tomorrow I will discuss my three rules to insure that you never have to find yourself on the wrong end of a Ripple when it comes to social and online media. Rules, by the way, that I haven't always followed myself but have become far more in tune with given the various platforms I am using and the potential for reputation exposure.

Ripple On!!!