Strive For Three

I recently gave a speech to a group of business executives and during the question and answer portion was asked how I might suggest someone begin adhering to a Ripple-centric philosophy for their life. I get this question quite a lot so I figured it would be worth sharing my answer in this platform.

Ripple is about creating or taking action on someone else's behalf. Doing something....anything on a a consistent every day basis. My belief is when you are consciously on the hunt to Ripple on someone else's behalf you become acutely aware of your surroundings and it makes you active participant in the game of life. Not just a transient passenger of it.

So back to the question. How does someone begin utilizing the concept in their life? I have a little mental game I play with myself called Strive For Three. It's quite simple and a whole lot of fun. Here's how you play:

Throughout your day look for three opportunities to help someone and do it. Take an action on their behalf. It can be a big action or a little action but whatever it is, it's an action. It could be as simple as holding a door open for someone and wishing them a good morning. It might be complimenting a co-worker on a job well done or how nicely they dressed on that day. It might be letting that guy who's had his blinker on trying to get into your lane of traffic cut in in front of you and giving him a big smile while you do it. It could be stopping and offering to help that person change their tire. Or it might be buying a cup of hot coffee on a cold winter morning and stopping to give it to the flag man of the road construction crew.

The cool thing is your action can be anything you want it to be!

So as you do these things throughout the day keep track. Write them down. Strive to do a minimum of three each day and record your Ripples in a little journal. Tally your score at the end of each week and see how many positive Ripples you have created out there in the world.

Before long what you will notice is Rippling is no longer a game....it's a way of life. Your good deeds will have you feeling a little like a super hero and extremely good about yourself. That alone is a fantastic reason to begin Rippling every day in every way. And those Ripples you create will come back to you in ways that are unimaginable.

Strive for three is a great way to get yourself actively Rippling. So what are you waiting for?

Ripple On!!!

Come on....Letters After Your Name. Are You Serious?

I am fairly certain that little Johnny's parents didn't proudly announce to the world that here is our new baby boy John Smith Esq.. Nor do I think that Amy Wright's grandmother tells the ladies at bridge that their sons absolutely need to meet her granddaughter Amy Wright PhD.. But this trend of putting impressive indicators of one's higher education or professional certification seems to be running rampant. It leaves me wondering if our society has become so myopic that we wouldn't want to meet, connect or even hear someone speak without some level of indication that they are better than us somehow. The letters or string of certification indicators after a name seems to bark ego and I for one don't get it.

I recently received an invitation to a local business function where the speaker was simply advertised as George Jefferson, PhD.. It was advertised with such emphasis on this man being a PhD that what he was speaking about was actually lost in translation. It left me feeling as if I should be so lucky to see the incredible George Jefferson PhD what with me being just a mere mortal and all. Needless to say I didn't plop down my thirty-five bucks to see the PhD and I am certain it was my loss.

I know my comments may offend some of you and that is not my intention. I am quite certain if I achieved a level of certification or educational importance I would be quite proud of it myself. I just wonder however, how many people one might be intimidating with the very in your face public display of professional or academic achievement.

Case and point, I have a good friend that for a while has somewhat been fascinated with a particular person in my local business community. He believes this person would be able to accelerate his learning curve a great deal for his job given this individual's professional standing in their industry. Recently over coffee I suggested my friend just pick up the phone and honor this individual by saying he would like to meet him because he is someone my friend really respects and he would like to learn from him. My friend shrunk back in his seat and said he couldn't do it...the guy was too important and, this is no lie, sited the letters after his name as some indication of their social class difference.

Hogwash! I am quite certain this particular individual is not a God in his profession and that he very well could learn something from my friend who is brilliant in so many ways. But I've seen this man's card and he has more letters after his name then Starbucks has combinations for their drinks. I could see at first why my friend would possibly be intimidated. Then the more I thought about it the more I wondered what the letters might mean to the man carrying them in terms of lost opportunities for himself. Opportunities he doesn't even realize he is missing out on because he is intimidating people which his self-promoted importance.

I don't believe the letters define you and perhaps in certain circles those letters mean a great a deal and have practical application. But if you are business coach trying to drum up business at your local chamber of commerce, no one gives a rat's you know what if you are a CSP, CES, ICP, CPC or whatever...they just want to know you as George or Jane. The impressive title or long string of letters following your name is not what defines who you are and what you might bring to my personal or professional life; you do. But we may never get the chance to explore that if you shove a card in my face that makes me, a mere uncertified, unsanctioned, unannointed mere mortal feel intimidated. Just go with the card that says, Shelia Waters, Executive Coach.

I don't do business with my attorney because he is John Tarbox Esq.. In fact I have no idea if he is an Esq. or not and I don't care. I do business with John because he is John and that's how I met him and how I got to know him. But bet your bottom dollar I wouldn't refer him if he pontificated that he was an Esq. because my peeps don't role with that.

But hey....this is only an opinion and I hope no one minds me sharing my rant too much. It's just something that bugs me and if I can't share it with you then who can I share it with? And to be completely fair I give medical doctors a pass on this rant. It's always good to know who might stop the bleeding and fix you up after you do something stupid!

On second thought, perhaps maybe I should start going around calling myself Steve Harper, P.R.C.E. (Professional Ripple Connector Extraordinaire). Nah.....just call me Steve....or maybe Ripple Man!!!

Ripple On!!!

Decide To Do Better

I have a confession to make. I screw up. I screw up a lot!

I have a mean temper...had it for years.

I don't always do the right thing....sometimes logic and I don't mix.

I could be a better husband.

I could be a better dad.

I could be a better friend.

I could be a better man.

Yes there are a lot of things I could do better. There are things that I am determined to do better.

One of the important steps to change is understanding that a change needs to happen in the first place. Finding your internal moral and ethical compass is important for us all. It's a continual learning process and our internal compass is something that requires constant attention, calibration and recalibration.

Years ago I used to drink too much. I think it was mostly out of habit and my way to combat stress. I remember sitting at a bar after a hard day at work and finding myself watching an old drunk man that looked like he and the bar stool were a permanent fixture to the place. His mouth never stopped moving as he bitched and complained about how life had treated him unfairly and how the company he worked for screwed him over after years of loyalty. He rattled on until the people sitting next to him got up and moved and started again when someone new sat down. His age and his sadness seemed to emanate from his aura and the depressed existence he called his life was palatable. I thought to myself what a waste. Then I looked up from my beer and into the mirror behind the bar and saw my own face. The only difference between me and the old man was age.

Was this man a preview to my future? Maybe. Maybe not.

But through the beer buzz and anger that had sent me to the bar that night, I awoke to something that even at that moment was somewhat profound for me. My life is my own. My destiny is truly in my hands. I get to decide if I want to do better.

And at that moment I did.

We all have a choice when it comes to choosing our path. The decision to do better in whatever area of your life is yours. Guaranteed there is no one taking credit right now for your screw-ups and there likely won't be anyone there to pick you up when you fall. You have to and must always depend upon yourself to make things right. You and only you can make sure your compass is guiding you in the right direction.

Decide what you need to do better at in life and take the steps that are necessary.

I got up from that bar stool that night determined not to become that old man. I decided I could and would do better and I have.

Three years later I sold my company for more money than I could have possibly ever imagined. I am quite certain it would never have happened had I not made a conscious decision to do better. There was a lot of work along the way but to this day I still remember that reflection staring back at me and the pain that settled into m heart. I would either make the change myself or perhaps befall a destiny that wasn't so pretty.

I still have lots of work to do but with the grace of God, I will have a lot more time to keep at it.

How about you?

Ripple On!!!

Broken Company Broken Souls - Continued

Had some great conversations with readers these past few days both online and over the phone about Thursday's post. It was telling to hear several of you talk about living in this world either as an employee or as an organizational leader. It seems the scenario I painted is fairly representative of some current work environments from some well known corporations out there. But whether you're at a Fortune 500 company or running a small business with just a handful of people, any way you cut it, this scenario would be bad. Real bad!

So who's to blame? No one? Everyone? Well....yes....

Clearly entire books are written on this kind of subject matter but let me just hit a few of my observable highlights.

The company promotes a workplace culture that is obviously so not accurate. Leadership is to blame because they allow such an obvious misrepresentation of the company to be portrayed by the recruiters and hiring managers. A company can be excellent at attracting top-tier talent but if they don't have the uber hip environment that these candidates now turned employees, were promised and expect, it will only breed contempt and disloyalty for those who stay. Those harsh feelings morph into a culture of disconnection, broken relationships, unhappy employees and ultimately dissatisfied customers.

The company also appears to have extremely disengaged leadership. You see this a lot especially in smaller companies. The attitude becomes we were lucky enough to land these people so let's not rock the boat by being overly managerial and too in your face. Marcia's boss is a perfect example of clearly having no idea what she does throughout the day and likely out of fear of losing her and perhaps looking bad amongst his peers for the turnover, turns a blind and naive eye. The lack of his leadership and his expectation of accountability only serves to fuel Marcia's discontent and questionable behavior and becomes the temporal pulse from which his other employees and related departments take their cue. A rudderless ship full of passengers expecting something out of the voyage they agreed to take is a ship headed to no where and a mutiny (or abandon ship call) can't be far behind.

So what about Marcia, doesn't she bear some of the blame? In my opinion absolutely yes! Marcia is representative of the attitude I see in a lot of today's workforce. Many of today's workers so believe they are owed something from "the man" and conduct themselves accordingly. People must show up every day and put out a solid effort or they should move on or be removed. Marcia is no exception.

Marcia may have been duped into taking a job that is nothing like what she expected it to be. If so, she must for her own pride and sanity seek out and find employment that is more challenging and rewarding. Her pride in herself and her abilities should be encouragement enough to let her own internal compass know that the things she is doing at work, calling it work, isn't right. No, in fact it is downright wrong. Her attitude about killing time until she can resume her life should be the first indication that there is something wrong and if management isn't going to fix it she should. She should take a stand and be a change agent within the company if she believes the company is worth fighting for. If not, she should quit wasting hers and everyone else's time and move on.

But is it really that easy? Isn't it easier to just hope Marcia will wake up one day and feel guilty about taking that check home for playing on the Internet ninety percent of the time? Isn't it just easier for a company to say we can't get the right people if we don't fib a little during the recruiting process? Isn't it just easier to be a leader that is liked because you don't create issue and fail to hold people to a certain level of accountability?

I think we all know the answer to these questions. It's why we see companies that once held such great promise never achieving greatness. It's why we see people who should be so much further down the career path still stuck in neutral. It's why we see people losing self-respect in themselves by taking the easy and less bumpy road to get through the day. It's why so many companies are broken and why so many us go to work like zombies day after day; each day giving up a little bit more of our soul along the way.

Change in any corporation, big or small, is difficult. Fixing a sick department, division or entire company takes work. It is hard work but not impossible work.

So what about you? Are you a Marcia? Or are you a Marcia boss? Are you running a division just waiting for the battle lines to be drawn so you can settle in your spot to begin pointing fingers and assassinating characters?

Broken companies can be fixed with committed truthful leaders. Broken souls can be fixed with self-respecting employees who aren't going to take the easy personal road but would rather do the heavy lifting that is required day in and day out. Together with the right kinds of leaders and the rights kinds of employees a company can be created that people will truly want to work for and it will produce products and services customers will really want to buy.

Marcia and her company can be fixed and boy if they were real, I would sure like to give them some ideas how.

Ripple On!!!