A Loss To Soon

Amelia Sharif was a tenacious seven year old. When I think of her I always remember these big adoring eyes and her energetic bounce and a smile that could light the hill country. Her proud dad Ryan was the dotting father and her soccer coach. The bond and love that Ryan showed his daughter is hard to describe but easy for many of us who are parents to visualize and understand.

Amelia and her Grandmother Carolyn were taken from us in an accident in Arizona recently.

To read the newspaper article click here.

After hearing the news from a parent of a former teammate I coached and who was now a teammate of Amelia's, I haven't quite been the same. Knowing how much Ryan and his wife Stephanie loved their daughter and just how unfair life can be sometimes has thrown me through every emotion you can imagine. Anger, sadness, and ultimately fear and worry for my own boys. A chilling and hurtful reminder how precious life really is.

When people ask me why I want to make the impact on the world that I do, it's because of this very thing. None of us know when our time is up and we all have to live life to its fullest. Living life means truly connecting with the ones who mean the world to us and likely (if you are like me) take for granted will always be there.

I would give anything in the world to get Amelia and her Grandmother back and erase the pain that I know Ryan and his entire family must be feeling. Instead, I hope to honor them and every one of us who has lost someone that we loved by helping others realize the importance of making the impact when and where you can. Give your family and your kids your complete attention and let them know every day how much you love them. Tell your friends what they mean to you. Do something. Because sometime, somewhere down the line, those words you wish you would have spoken won't be able to be heard.

God Speed Amelia! I know you are somewhere right now playing on a different soccer field or swimming in a different pool and Grandma is right there rooting you just like always.

Ripple Your Words

“We cannot rise higher than our thought of ourselves.”

-- Orison Swett Marden

Recently I was having a conversation with a good friend of mine who has taken on the role of mentor for me. Actually she is one of many mentors that I am lucky to have at the moment. I think we all need these and I encourage you, if you don't have an official mentor(s), to go find one quick! Don't walk....run to the nearest mentor store and beg, borrow or steal one because they are worth their weight in gold let me tell you.

I will try and write more on mentors and how to find and attract one in a later post. If you can't wait, email me and we will chat offline.

My mentor is a brilliant person and someone that I trust. She has always been dead on with her advice and suggestions. Most recently however, she pointed out the limiting use of words that I tend to interlace throughout my vocabulary. It was a profound observation and one that I discovered was holding me back in a number of ways.

I would be telling a story or revealing an intention to make something happen and I would always say something like "I am going to try and get that appointment" or " I will try and make that appointment." Try being the operative limiting word. Try leaves too much vagueness. As YODA said..."there is no TRY, only DO!"

She also pointed out my use of the word problem as I revealed a particular challenge I am facing. I would say something like "the problem is he or she won't call me back" or "the problem is I simply don't have time." The problem with the problems I would be describing was they were more or less challenges, not problems. However, as my mentor pointed out, when I put the negative emphasis on whatever the circumstance happened to be, I made it bigger than it had to be.

My mentor's comments really hit home and make a lot of sense. We define ourselves when communicating with others by the words we choose to use. I had no idea that many of the things that I said were limiting words and actually gave off a lack of confidence, fear or mistrust which effects the impressions we give to those we talk to. When she pointed this out it was eye opening because those words aren't used in habit, I can assure you. They are used because I hadn't yet convinced myself I could or would accomplish what I was talking about.

As the quote above says, we cannot rise higher than the thought of ourselves. If we have fear in something words like can't, try, problem, only if, someday, hope to, maybe when, etc. start to permeate our thinking and ultimately destroy our self-confidence.

Can words make a difference? They sure can and they do. Challenge yourself for one week to try and eliminate the negative vocabulary you use. Replace it with more powerful, inspiring language and see if your mind and your thoughts don't make a radical shift.

Can't --- Can and will
Problem --- Challenge
Try --- Do
Someday --- Today
Maybe --- Yes
Won't --- Will

Thanks to my mentor and good friend for pointing out something that has been holding me back for a long time but no longer will!

Ripple On!!!

Steve